Fragments Fiction

Fragments.ws is devoted to adult-themed transformation stories.

Dave Fragments

Welcome to my website of strange and creepy stories.

Links to friendly websites

There are 146 titles stories here.

By category:
Animal/Furry - 34 stories
Metal/Robots - 17 stories
Stone - 21 stories
Transgender - 3 stories
Halloween - 9 stories
Other and Odd - 32 stories
Sci-Fi - 24 stories
Year 2015 - 6 stories

You can reach me by replacing the "@" and the "." in my email address
dave dot fragments dot dc at gmail.com (yes there are two periods in that email)

SOLAR STATION CAGLIOSTRO 1

15 July, 2005

The solar observatory Cagliostro-1 orbits the sun in an earth-synchronous orbit 200 AU above the Earth's North Pole. (footnote #1)

"Docking procedure completed, Captain Dale Pelletier. The automated systems will have it unloaded within two hours," Derrick keyed over the intercom. He studied the contents on the manifest as it scrolled up the screen.

"Hey, it must be Christmas, Captain, or your birthday. There's crate for you marked personal, a big crate too. Nothing listed on the outside as to what it contains," he tries to life the crate. "Son-of-a-bitch, it's a heavy sucker. Must have cost a fortune to lift off the earth and send by sub-light transport." Derrick pulled his uniform from the center of his chest. The cargo bays were always hot and sweaty. His curly black hair stuck in ringlets to his head. His shorts crawled up the crack of his ass.

"Have the robots deliver the crate to my quarters. I'll figure it all out later," Dale's voice chattered back through the intercom. Derrick's eyes scanned the manifest intently as it scrolled over his screen. He keyed the computer to produce the bill of lading and customs declaration.

"Hey, Cap, who's Mike the Magus, of Michael Bladeless Inc?" Derrick keyed the intercom. He moved the crate into an MRI and began to process images of the insides.

"Mike the Magus? I haven't thought about Mike since I left earth thirty or forty years ago. We were buddies at University. I went into science and he went into wizardry and magic," the captain stopped to consider the question.

"Electricity and magnetism?" Braydon stuck his two-cents into their conversation. The Captain blinked the lights on the intercom.

"No Braydon, sorcery and conjuration! Now get out of the conversation ? Derrick, where did you get that name? Are you jerking off in my cabin again?" the Captain barked over the intercom.

"Me? Me? Leave DNA? No! No! Nooooo! The name is on the bill of lading that came with the crate. There should be more in the customs declarations," Derrick answered in matter-of-fact tones. He continued to read the paperwork absentmindedly. The captain's intercom light came on again.

"I'm still in the cargo bay so you don't have to worry about random DNA appearing on your belongings," Derrick added. The intercom lights blinked again and this time several lights glowed.

"Paging Derrick the dumb, paging Derrick the dumb," the captain's voice echoed out of several speakers built into the walls and ceilings. "Get the fuck out of my personal business. Quit screwing around with my fucking paperwork. Repeat, stop reading the fucking paperwork and get your horny, sweaty body out of my quarters. Do not open the crate. Do not make it open itself. Understand!" the Captain ordered. Derrick jumped to attention, pulled his pants up and saluted his monitor.

"Yes sir. Right away sir," he answered.

"And don't leave your sweaty, piss-stained underwear in my quarters, understand?" The Captain yelled over the loud speakers.

"One mistake, just one mistake in thirty years?" Derrick cursed silently. He pushed a button and the illicit paperwork almost vanished into the disposal bin. He waited for a minute and when the intercom didn't light up again, he restored the paperwork and read it intently. When he finished, he smiled. He keyed a privacy code into the intercom and signaled Braydon in the solar observatory. He had to tell Braydon of his discovery,

"Braydon here," Braydon Donnie MacDougal the station's only astrophysicist answered from the solar observatory.

"Bray-Bray, Captain Dale's got another pervy shipment. I just read the paperwork. A whole crate of rubber things," Derrick said into the intercom.

"A pervy movement, you say? Rubber things you say?" Braydon answered from the astrophysics lab.

"No shit! The image on the MRI shows a bunch of naked statuettes, naked toy soldiers, it looked like, with big dicks on each of them. Do you think that they're voodoo dolls?" Derrick said. He waited for Braydon to respond.

"Rubber voodoo dolls? Are you sure?" Braydon asked. A huge solar expulsion had knocked out half of the observatory's instrumentation. Braydon reset the instrument he was working on.

"He better not be sure that's what he saw!" boomed the Captain's voice from a control console near Derrick. "Now you can quit snooping into my private affairs and put the crate in my room. Right now!"

"Ah shit, Dale, it just slipped into the MRI, honest, I didn't mean to spy, just curious, you know," Derrick grabbed the box from the machine and left the room. The Captain could hear Braydon laughing over the intercom.

"A truer word was never spoken on the good ship Cagliostro," Braydon laughed even harder. Dale busted into laughter. They both knew that Derrick couldn't resist snooping.

"What knocked out the instruments?" Dale asked.

"...anomalous coronal mass ejections."

"Really? The sun has fugitive emissions, nocturnal emissions?"

"...anomalous coronal mass ejections, not emissions."

"I thought we were in for a quiet spell. Aren't we in a solar minimum?" the Captain asked.

"Yes and yes. There's a message I picked up from the Magellan Observatory in Sydney that a dense, dark meteor fell into the southern side of the sun. It was small enough not to register on the instruments but apparently dense enough to cause waves on the sun's surface and coronal mass ejections."

"I leave that all to you and the other astrophysicists. I'm going to go yell at Derrick a little more," Captain Dale said.

"He acts so cute when you bawl him out," Braydon replied.

"He's even cuter when I bang his ass," Dale laughed.

"Now behave, boys, behave," Braydon answered. The Captain left the observatory. Later that day, at least what passed for a day on the space station, Captain Dale closed the door of his closet-sized quarters and secured it. Since there were only three men left on the observatory, they rarely locked any doors or even command positions throughout the observatory. He opened the carbon fiber crate. On top were three rubber statuettes locked in space foam. Under the statuettes were several thin rubber body suits encased in airtight plastic sealers and at the bottom of the crate were memory modules protected from radiation by lead. Derrick was right, this cost a fortune to ship, Dale thought. He inserted the first of the memory modules into his private computer station. It opened with his retina scan. A naked and quite youthful hologram of Mike the Magus filled the screen.

"Hail and farewell, felicities and salutations to you, my dear and good friend, Dale. These good scientists and engineers tell me that it will take about thirty years for this message to reach you. If that's the case, I will be long gone. That being said, I hope it finds you in good health. I followed your career as you guided the building of Cagliostro and then its launch into synchronous orbit. Thirty years to travel 200 AU is a lot of time considering that they installed the new faster-than-light drives after you got there. I was sorry to see that they insisted you wear those ugly, phlegm colored uniforms. My personal preference would be dark violet with gold piping lined with red silk. They also tell me that Cagliostro is no longer a priority. Nor, for that matter, is space exploration of any kind."

"It's happened before in history. Governments go goofy and decided that all those people subject to their authority must behave in particular ways. They also pull in and become very xenophobic and introspective. I suppose it will happen again. That's very little solace to those of us under the heel of big brother. But then, you already know some of this because your station is being downsized from forty-eight scientists and eighteen crewmen to one scientist and two crewmen."

"Will once noted that if falling down dead is the only thing left to do, it matters how you do it. The power-that-be - those delightful guardians of the public morals - are arresting the morally deficient. You know what that means for a fifty-year-old magus with perverted desires - mental reprogramming, the death of the personality, and re-creation with an IQ of sixty. Now I know that's a full five points higher than our dear leader's IQ.

I refused to accept that fate. No, it's not for me. Therefore, rather than submit meekly, I've opted for one grand week of youth for myself and my two assistants - Philippe, and Miguelito. Now as you know, real youth treatments can't be done and the bootlegged variety lasts about one week, maybe ten days. This is as effective a death sentence as the death of personality. I've arranged for our bodies to be cremated after we die. I can only hope our ashes will be dumped down the toilet at the nearest whorehouse. I suspect that the government will enshrine our ashes in the great Cathedral that they are building in the Capital. Somewhere, someplace, a fat lady is singing my song - don't cry for me Sodom and Gomorrah. (he laughs.) By the time you get this package me, my magic and my tormentors will all be dead and my monument to revenge will be finished. The powers-that-be hope future generations will use my name as a curse. I think I'll grant their wish. Well, this message disc is almost filled. Remember me! I have no regrets! No tears! I'm the dog's bollocks! One last thought - I spent half of my fortune on getting my favorite toy soldiers shipped to you. When you go to sleep tonight, say jumba wumba in my memory and enjoy your new toys. I have a spell to cast and you, undoubtedly have a station to operate..."

The image faded away in a confusion of random pixels. Captain Dale leaned back in his chair and contemplated the message. He played the message four times just to understand how Mike's story fit with thirty-year-old reports of his death. He noticed all manner of messages and hints in the bric-a-brac that filled the room Mike used to record the message. Then he played it again watching Mike as a youthful, well-built and well-hung man. The Captain unpacked the statuettes. They were astonishingly realistic rubber action replicas dressed in exquisitely detailed military uniforms. Dale looked under their clothes. He laughed. They were anatomically correct and primed for action. To the end, Mike the Magus was a true pervert. Dale set them on the shelf above his desk facing outward. Three little soldiers all standing at attention just for him. He laughed at the double entendre.

Dale loaded the second memory module into his computer. It contained every pornographic book ever written. Starting with the Kama Sutra, passing through rare medieval erotica, through the Tropics of Cancer and Capricorn, Ulysses, Lady Chatterley, and ending somewhere in the pulp fiction of the great electronic book explosion, the library was massive. Something to browse on a lonely night, thought Dale.

The third memory module turned out not to be a computer module at all. It contained a lead cask holding dozens of atomic-powered dildo replicas. He took six of them from the box and put them in his own little lead storage container. They were the just the right size for the three statuettes. Dale laughed at the prospect. He put the tiny dildos under a magnifier, found the "on" switch, and inserted them into the statuettes. He could feel the vibrations through the rubber. He posed the each statue at attention and set it them on the shelf. With an atomic power source, those little things would vibrate for several hundred years.

Finally, he examined the life-size rubber suits. They had used variations on these suits. Mike claimed that he bewitched the suits so that all men wanted to look like the wearer, women only wanted to fuck the wearer, and gay men wanted to both. They enhanced musculature and sexual performance making the wearer bigger and better in all the right places.

"Dinner call for Captain Dale, dinner call for Captain Dale," Derrick announced over the intercom. Almost as an afterthought, Dale picked up the rubber soldiers and the suits. He threw them into a carry bag and took them to dinner. Dinner consisted of just arrived steaks and potatoes.

They ate in silence. They always ate in silence. That was the rule of the dining room on Cagliostro-1. During its heyday, now some 30 plus years ago, the physicists used to argue about the solar observations. After a few beer-enhanced brawls, Captain Dale made the rule of silence. After that, meals in the station were silent and peaceful. Even now, after thirty years they maintained silence. After Derrick Songbird, who the captain accused of having some other source of stupid genes than his supposedly full-blooded American Indian heritage belied, served the dessert, one of the newly-arrived and very nondescript chocolate, coffee, and sugar-laden extravaganzas. Their heads buzzed with sugar, caffeine and cocoa. Derrick broke the silence.

"So, Dale-baby, what did you get in the crate? I saw three toy soldiers on the MRI," Derrick asked. He knew the Captain didn't like nicknames.

"Say what? I thought you didn't image the crate on the MRI."

"Oops, it's the sugar talking. I'm not used to rich desserts," Derrick joked. He put on one of his amazingly stupid faces and ogled Dale.

"If only I could transfer you to the abandoned station on Pluto. Life would be so nice," Dale smacked Derrick on the shoulder. Derrick shook his head as if it was mounted on a spring. The three men laughed.

"You worked as a magician's assistant when you were young? You never told us that," Braydon chimed in.

"Well, it's not that big a deal. I knew Mike the Magus from high school summer camps and did a couple summers as his assistant when I needed money for college. We were friends. I lost track of him after I went to college and then the space corps," Dale kept his answer short.

"And he took your virginity and banged your ass relentlessly?" Derrick joked in flat tones as he cleared the plates. Dale glared at Derrick. His face and neck turned bright red. Braydon nearly choked on his coffee.

"He did! Didn't he? You two were lovers, weren't you? I can see it all over your face," Braydon laughed. He congratulated Derrick.

"Son-of-a-bitch, bastards!" Dale growled.

"Butt munch!" Braydon giggled.

"Cocksucker!" Dale answered. Braydon laughed so hard he nearly fell to the floor. Derrick dropped his pants and mooned the other two men. He pushed his unit through his legs showing a full plate of nuts with banana.

"Twits! Gorks! McClell! Assholes!" Dale's embarrassment subsided and he started to laugh. "Why was I cursed with you two?" Dale lamented playfully. They laughed.

"What was in the crate?" Derrick asked.

"Three toy soldiers... Apparently, Mike and his assistants ran afoul of the morality police and were going to be arrested. He spent half his fortune on what I am guessing was bootlegged youth treatments. He even admits to knowing that the bootlegged treatments only last seven to ten days. We all know why they can't stabilize the genetics. Ugly way to die for one final fling," Dale added.

"Very few know the secret. That's for sure. If they did, the politicians would be flocking to some cheesy clinic to get the fountain of youth. I guess we were lucky being chosen as the three caretakers on Cagliostro-1," Braydon said. He glanced around like he was hatching a conspiracy. Although they would never age because of the longevity treatments, they could never return to earth.

"Toy soldiers?"

"Mike said their remains were to be cremated and sprinkled in the nearest whorehouse. That's Mike's idea of a poetic death," Dale shook his head not quite approving and not quite disapproving.

"You said used half of his money. What did he do with the rest?" Braydon asked.

"He paid to lift the crate into orbit and send it to the station on one of the last sub-light shuttles. Besides the rubber toy soldiers, he sent computer discs and a half dozen or so rubber orgy suits. The computer stuff includes electronic porn. The most amazing things were atomic powered dildos for the soldiers."

"Atomic powered dildos?"

"Rubber suits for orgies?"

"Yup! In fact, we should go try on the rubber suits just for fun," Dale said.

"And have an after dinner orgy?" Braydon finished his sentence.

"Well I'm up for that," Derrick added. The three men went through the corridors of Cagliostro-1 to the main garden chamber. Inside the chamber were several areas of with a wide variety of plants including a large grassy meadow with a small stream and a waterfall. Dale, Braydon and Derrick removed their clothes. They all looked to be about twenty years old and at their prime because of the genetic longevity treatment. Their bodies were uniformly muscular. Dale was tall, broad-shouldered and built like a Greek god with thick, coal-black, wavy hair and pale white skin. Braydon was short, stocky, thickly muscled and very blond. Derrick had dark olive-colored skin and deep, smoky eyes. Dale opened his carry bag and took out three body suits made of thin, greenish rubber. The suits were small and they only opened at the neck. Derrick and Braydon took them not knowing what to do.

"Don't worry! These stretch to fit any size or shape. You just pull the neck open and slide into them. It takes a little getting used to," Dale said. He pulled the neck open on his suit and showed them how to step into it. As small as the rubber suit seemed, it kept stretching until only his head was uncovered. The hood bunched against the back of his neck. Dale flexed a little and the suit clung tight to every curve and hollow of his body. Even his genitals were hanging out from his body encased in rubber that outlined all the veins and curves of his cock and balls.

Both Braydon and Derrick followed his lead and soon the three men looked like large, pale-green version of the rubber soldiers. The suits gave their bodies a slick, rubbery appearance. Only their heads remained human. Each man felt his body through the rubber. A thin layer of sweat formed on their bodies making the rubber stick to their skin and stretch even tighter.

"The only disadvantage I found about these suits is that once you pulled the hood over your face, you can't talk. You're essentially mute. You can feel, taste, hear, see, or do anything else, but you can't talk. Mike called them his slave suits. He never explained the incantations that made them work," Dale explained. Braydon and Derrick flexed and twisted making the rubber fit tighter and tighter to their bodies.

"Are these supposed to be a little hot? My skin tingles," Derrick remarked.

"I feel sticky. This stuff's like a second skin. It makes my skin feel gummy," Braydon observed.

"When you cover your head, that feeling will pass. Mike once told me that he didn't want the wearer to become dehydrated so anyone inside the suit conserves water." Dale pulled the hood up over his hair and only left his face uncovered. The suit pulled tight against his ears forcing them against his head. The rubber bunched up over his lower jaw and crept up against his lips. He adjusted the opening so that only his eyes, nose and mouth was uncovered.

"Fucking A! You mean all he left are these suits and the rubber dolls?" Braydon adjusted his hood. Derrick followed suit. The rubber suits made their cocks thicker.

"That's it, That's Mike's epitaph and inheritance," Dale said. He took the dolls out of the carry bag and sat them on a ledge. They all looked at them for a few minutes. It was a sad and tender moment for the Captain. But not for Derrick and Braydon.%% They played with each other's rubber-coated bodies. The rubber suits made their testicles bigger and the sacks that held them hung down between their legs.

Derrick picked up one of the rubber dolls and began to undress it. Braydon did the same. "Hey, these toy soldiers are anatomically correct!" In short, order they had the clothes off the statues and then fondled the very detailed, rubber bodies.

"These are great. Just the soldier every little boy wanted: superman muscles, cute butts, big cock and balls, and they even have nipples and fingers and toes," Braydon said enthusiastically.

"And assholes, too," Derrick undressed the third statue and posed it obscenely with his. He shook them playfully.

"What kind of perverted kid were you? I never met any small boy who to wanted to play sex games with anatomically correct rubber dolls - male or female," Dale blustered. Derrick looked at him and laughed. He bent the arms and legs of the two statues into a sixty-nine position.

"What warm-blooded boy doesn't want to play with his toy soldiers' privates?" Derrick joked. He took one of the dolls and began to lick its miniature cock. "It's warm and tasty," he gargled as he pulled the statuette's legs apart and licked frantically. Dale and Braydon laughed at his behavior.

"You really are perverted, Derrick. You'll suck any cock even the cock of a rubber toy," Braydon joked. He twiddled a finger against the genitals of one of the other toy soldiers.

"GAH!" Derrick screamed and jumped so hard that the statue he was licking bounced out of his hands. The Captain caught it. The statue's crotch was bright red.

"That thing squirted something in my mouth," Derrick yelled. Dale studied the statues intensely. Braydon held out the statue he was twiddling and its genitals were pinkish.

"Holy fucking horseshit, why didn't I think of that! Mike, you dirty rotten bastard," Dale took the toys and set them on the floor. He made Braydon and Derrick stand with him holding hands in a circle around the three statues.

"I think I understand Mike's message. Repeat jumba wumba together with me three times," Dale said. They did as he asked. The statues vibrated and twisted on the floor between their feet. Almost imperceptibly, the rubber soldiers began to grow into full size men complete with the bodies and muscles they had as rubber toys. Dale, Derrick and Braydon stood there amazed as they stood chest to chest with three adult-sized, green-rubber statues. Mike the Magus faced Dale, Philippe faced Braydon, and Derrick confronted Miguelito. Each statue was massively muscled and well hung.

"Wow, what a magic trick that was!" Braydon reached out and touched the statue in front of him. The Captain whooped and bounced.

"He found it! He found the spell! We knew the spell it existed but we could never find it! Mike must have found the spell. Quick guys grab the statue in front of you and hold it tight. Braydon and Derrick hugged the rubber statues in front of them. After about 15 seconds, they could feel the statues come to life and return their embrace.

"They're alive!" Derrick exclaimed the obvious.

"Yes, yes, yes," Dale kissed the statue and felt its rubber tongue slide down his throat. He humped his rubber-covered cock against the statue's solid rubber cock.

Derrick let his rubber man pull the hood over his face. The rubber gripped his body even tighter as it moved into every orifice it could find. Braydon felt the rubber encase him, filling his body cavities with its presence. He felt it blend with his flesh like a second skin. He pulled his rubbery companion down to the ground and began to suck its giant cock deep into his more than willing throat. Derrick's body molded itself to the shape of his lover. His lust knew no bounds. Braydon and Captain Dale were a little behind his lead.

"You mean these three rubber men were your friends?" Braydon asked as the rubber man in front of him pulled the rubber hood over his face. Braydon hesitate a second but the rubber man buried a long tongue deep into his throat. Before Dale had the time to answer, the statue of Mike the Magus pulled the hood of his rubber suit over his face letting the rubber overtake his body. Derrick looked around and quickly pulled his hood down. He too felt the rubber merge with his flesh. His rubber lover felt so hot and sexy that he abandoned himself to its ministrations.

The rubber suits changed their bodies. Their skin became tough and stretchy. Internally, they felt soft, gummy, and infinitely malleable. They found they could squeeze but not crush. Hours passed with the three men and three rubber figures writhing on the floor in every possible sex position. Eventually the three humans tired and fell asleep. Their rubber counterparts never got tired and never required sleep. But they understood that human men required food and rest after a long session of rubberized sex. They made their human counterparts comfortable and let them fall asleep. The three rubber men lay there awaiting orders.

A chime from the control computer woke Braydon. He sat at the nearest command console. The chair was cold and stuck to his rubber skin. The alarm was caused by another solar flare. This was a solar minimum but the sun had become surprisingly active. He relayed the warning to earth. Then he turned his attention back to the naked rubber men. Captain Dale's three friends just sat there with blank rubber eyes, watching, waiting. He instinctively knew that there was a big difference between his, the Captain's and Derrick's existence as rubber men. These three were docile and subservient. Leaving his thoughts, Braydon woke the Captain.

"That's quite a legacy your friend left," Braydon said as Captain Dale shook the sleep from his body.

"Mike must have discovered the incantation that enabled him to become living rubber. That's why they took the bootlegged youth treatments. Everyone expected them to die in a week or so. Instead, they donned the rubber suits and converted themselves into rubber men to be blasted into orbit and then shuttled to us. I never thought it possible. Rubber doesn't age or die, you know. In fact, it took years for the scientists to actually discover that magic is anti-entropy and anti-enthalpy in a thermodynamic sense. It really doesn't violate the three laws of Thermodynamics in a global sense because the excess energies and disorders are dissipated in Quantum Dimensions. Nevertheless, it does limit entropy losses to millionths of a calorie per year. As for enthalpy, magic adds enthalpic energy that has to be dissipated through physical activity. That's why magicians can go without food or water for lengthy periods of time and I guess that's the red glow in the statues," Dale over-explained. Braydon looked at him with a pained expression. (footnote #3)

"What does all that mean?" Braydon asked.

"Magic works in mysterious ways," he paused, "I guess that as long as we wear the suits, we can have non-stop sex," The Captain added. The Captain contemplated the three rubber men and their suits as a magic trick. On the other hand, Braydon contemplated the situation.

"Would you repeat the words you used to enlarge them," Braydon asked. The Captain said 'gumba wumba' again and much to his surprise, the three rubber men shrank back into foot-tall statuettes. Derrick was sleeping on his rubber soldier and as it changed, he crashed onto the grass. He fumbled, bending and twisting oddly, then he fell back to sleep still completely encased in rubber.

"Dale, what else was in the crate?" Braydon asked lounging his side, resting his head in one hand.

"Computer chips with porn on them. They're in the bag," Dale said. Braydon took the chip with the porn library and examined it with the main computer. He started to manipulate the information on the chip. It didn't take long for him to find the hidden file.

"They thought they were good, but they can't beat the master. Now we'll all get to read what your friend really wanted to say," Braydon swaggered as he punched the final keystrokes to decode the file. A cartoon-like image of a youthful Mike filled the screen.

"I hope you find this file sooner rather than later and I hope you've figured out the secret behind the three soldiers I shipped to you. The spell to follow our example is wumba said three times three. It's absolutely irreversible. As I understand the longevity treatments, with your modified genetic structure, you can live two or three hundred years on the space station. Philippe, Miguelito, and I will live forever as rubber incarnates. Look for more messages. You'll know what to do with it when you find them." With that, the file closed and wouldn't play again.

"Now that's interesting," Braydon said.

"Interesting, interesting. You know enough Quantum Mechanics to understand that those magic spells are really String Theory adjustments to this dimension. He's not giving us much info. We're pretty isolated on this station. Look, it takes thirty years for a slow shuttle to reach us. They haven't launched a faster-than-light in 25 years. I guess the political situation on Earth was really much worse than we understood."

Braydon searched the hard drive again for another file but came up with nothing. Then he started a computer moderated pattern search of the files. It would take about an hour for the computer to finish. He drummed his fingers on the table. Instead of sharp clacking sounds, they made soft cushioned thumps. Suddenly, He sat up and picked up the lead-lined container holding the atomic dildos. He examined them and found that they had serial numbers. He started to rearrange them and spent ten minutes fitting them in and out of their protective lead container.

"I am so dumb," Braydon said as he shut down the computer search. He wrote down two sets of numbers on a piece of paper. "It's all right here in the numbers. It's not on the disc. Look here at this sequence - 19504700+08520596 - and then this sequence 01123581321345589. Do they mean anything to you?" The Captain considered the two sets of numbers.

"Oh, crap! Hot steaming road cakes! I think that's ascension and declination of," he paused to think for a moment then added; "Altair and that other number... that other number..." Dale said. (footnote #2)

Braydon interrupted him: "Altair is between eleven and twelve light years away from us. Even genetically altered we couldn't make that flight at with the sub light drive holding Cagliostro-1 in orbit."

"Well, that's not entirely true. We could make the journey with the faster-than-light drive." Dale smacked his forehead. "it's my turn to be dumb, isn't it?" Both men knew what they had found.

"Absolutely!"

"Keep that number safe," Captain Dale ordered. Braydon encrypted the number in his head and tapped the result into the command console. Dale took a deep breath and stretched. He flexed his muscles and felt the rubber suit suction tight against his body. Braydon looked at both of their bodies.

"These suits are surprisingly comfortable. Even swimming in all my jism and sweat, I'm comfortable. I don't even feel like taking it off. Maybe your buddy Mike wanted us to turn into rubber," Braydon said.

"I agree. I think that was his idea. I'll bet if we keep these on long enough, we'll turn to rubber," the Captain said. He tugged at the hood of his rubber suit and pulled it back off his head.

"I'll tell you what; let's get out of our suits. Then we can wake Derrick and see what happens when we have sex while he's still in his suit. He'll enjoy it," the Captain suggested.

"Maybe he'll enjoy it too much," Braydon said. He tugged the rubber away from his neck and struggled to squeeze his arms and shoulders through the opening. Both men were surprised at how long it took to get out of the formfitting rubber suits. The suits retained the shape of both Braydon's and the Captain's bodies down to the finest detail. The two men embraced and kissed pressing human flesh against human flesh. It felt different from the feeling of rubber against rubber. It wasn't as sexy. The cool water of the garden chamber felt good as it washed them clean. They both felt horny when they finished.

Naked and aroused, they woke Derrick. He started to open his rubber suit, but Braydon and the Captain stopped him. The three men embraced and humped each other's bodies. Dale sucked on Derrick's extra large cock while Braydon rimmed his ass. Derrick pulled his buns open and let Braydon's mouth slide deep into his ass. He could feel his ass expand and let the man's tongue inside his body. Braydon's tongue found Derrick's rubberized prostate and massaged it opening his asshole wide. Braydon pulled his head back from Dale's quivering butthole and shoved his thick cock deep into Derrick's hot interior. Derrick squirmed and let his ass muscles pull Braydon's cock deep into his body.

Derrick rammed his cock deep into Dale's throat and pushed hard. He felt Dale's throat open and accept the long, thick rubber pole deep into his body. He probed Dale's throat as deep as he could. He leaned over, pulled Braydon's lips against his lips, and deep throated him. His mouth had a rubbery taste from rimming. Together they fucked Dale from both ends until they reached mutual orgasms, one of thick white cum, the other of gooey, rubbery cum. Dale and Braydon rested a few minutes as Derrick continued to lick their bodies. He was insatiable in rubber.

Braydon stood up and pulled Derrick's chest against his chest. He rubbed his fleshy chest against Derrick's rubbery one. Then he stood away and poked his cock under Derrick's foreskin and against his glans. He pushed slowly and deliberately against Derrick's cock forcing it backwards into his body.

Dale watched in amazement. He stroked his cock erect and stood behind Derrick holding him in place for Braydon's final push. Dale shoved his cock deep into Derrick's ass. He fucked Derrick from behind as Braydon pushed again inverting Derrick's cock inside his body. Their hips swiveled and thrust. He could feel the Captain's cock inside Derrick and he rubbed the three cockheads together. The feeling drove Derrick into an instant orgasm. Both Braydon and Dale thrust repeatedly until they both reached orgasm. Three men jerked and throbbed, sweat flew, bodies flailed, and minds blanked out in the blinding fire of sexual pleasure. Sated, the three men broke apart and fell on the grassy ground. It took a few minutes for the humans to stop breathing heavily. Derrick just simply relaxed and let his body reshape itself. After a few minutes, Braydon took hold of Derrick and pulled the mask up exposing his human face. Derrick's friendly smile appeared immediately.

"Let's do that again sometime. Bugger me again. You have no idea how two cocks buried inside me feels. Let's do it again," Derrick said. His voice was rough and hoarse. Derrick's ears were just fleshy lumps against his head. His curly black hair had merged with scalp and formed soft contours in the shape of ringlet. Derrick's facial features had smoothed down too. Braydon let Derrick look at the changes in the still water. Derrick felt the changes in his head with rubber-coated hands.

"Do you realize you're turning into rubber?" Braydon asked. he grabbed the opening on Derrick's rubber suit again and pulled it off his head.

"Fuck no! But hell yes! Being rubber is the sexiest thing in the world. ," Derrick answered. He pulled the rubber suit off his neck. His skin was completely smooth, no wrinkles, bumps or ridges. He tried peeling the rubber off one of his shoulders, but the rubber layer was thick and stuck to his muscles. He showed Dale and Braydon.

"I thought so," Braydon said. "Looks like the rubber suit has started to fuse with your skin and convert your flesh. I doubt you can take the suit off without lots of trouble," Captain Dale observed.

"Hey! I'm never going to take this suit off. If you know how turn me completely into rubber," Derrick almost begged.

"You sure? I can find Mike's cancellation spell in my notes and attempt to cancel his original incantation…" " Dale asked. Derrick pulled the rubber hood back up over his head and over his face leaving only a hole for his mouth. Derrick shook his head back and forth. He tried to talk but couldn't with his face covered this way.

"Are you absolutely sure, Derrick. You'll look like a faceless sex toy, you know?" Dale persisted. Derrick pulled the rubber off his mouth and lips.

"Aw fuck, Captain, I'm not the brightest bulb in the firmament, but this is too good to pass up. This station will maintain itself automatically for several thousand years. It never did need me to perform maintenance. Just make sure those three toy soldiers are full-size again and lock me in a room with them. I don't want to worry about eating, or drinking, or pissing, or shitting, or anything mundane. I'll just live on sex -- all day, every day, twenty-four seven," Derrick sucked the rubber into his mouth and swallowed the edges. The Captain grabbed his head and started to smooth his features.

"Let me do this for you. Trust me. I'm going to smooth your facial features even more than. You'll just be a body with holes to fuck," he said to Derrick. Derrick's cock throbbed at the idea. He nodded to Captain Dale. Braydon watched. Derrick's face was now an oval of anonymity: no eyes, no nose, no ears - a smooth, round head with the features of an egg. The only opening was his lipless mouth. Derrick looked at his reflection in the water and gave thumbs up. The Captain leaned close to one of the barely visible lumps that used to be Derrick's ear and repeated the phrase "wumba, wumba, wumba" three times. Derrick grabbed his body as the magic converted his flesh, blood and bone into solid rubber. He convulsed for several seconds before the captain grabbed one of his hands and bent it into impossible positions. The realization of what he had become hit Derrick and he celebrated wildly.

"He gives the phrase - take it like a man - new meaning. I guess I could live like that, a mute sex fiend. There's not much of a choice left for us, is there," Braydon remarked.

"Actually, I suspect we can keep our voices if we don't seal the suits over our mouths. Even if we just kept the suits on without the fast conversion spell, our bodies would be slowly and relentlessly turned into rubber," Dale answered. He picked up Braydon's rubber suit and handed it to him and then he started to squeeze into his own suit. Derrick tried to help them but only succeeded in annoying them.

"Wait a minute, Derrick. Let's try the size reduction on you. If it works, I'll insert one of those atomic powered dildos in him. You'll be happier than just sitting around bothering us," Braydon said. Dale agreed with him. They grabbed Derrick and said the magic words. Almost immediately, Derrick's body stiffened and shrank to about a foot high. He made a perfectly smooth little doll. Braydon made sure that the atomic powered dildos were turned on and then did the honors of inserting them into the statuettes. When the statuette of Derrick started to turn pink, he knew that everything was working. The Captain put them into his carry bag.

Both Captain Dale and Braydon struggled back into their rubber suits. They left their heads uncovered with the hood and face piece bunched around their necks. They both rubbed their hands over their bodies smoothing and fitting the suits to their shapes.

"You know, being rubber actually enhances all the erogenous zones," the Captain said. He tweaked Braydon's nipples. Immediately Braydon's cock stood erect.

"Something to look forward to. First, let's go to the main computer and see what codes are contained on that disc," Braydon said. Both men felt clothed but in reality, they looked like two naked, ghoulish-green men walking the corridors of Cagliostro-1. The main computer room sat against the inner wall of the station to keep cool. Even so, it was always hot due to the massive computers is contained.

Captain Dale and Braydon spent several long, sweaty hours attempting to decode anything on the disc. Finally, out of desperation, Braydon suggested that they reanimate Mike the Magus and ask him what the hell was going on. He opened the carry bag. Derrick's statuette was glowing bright green from the sexual stimulation. The other three statuettes glowed dull green. Dale removed the dildo from the Mike the Magus statuette and carefully brought it to life size. A ghostly green glow remained inside full-sized Mike the Magus. The rubber man hugged Dale and prepared for sex. Dale stopped him.

"Tell me how to decode this memory disc. Then tell me what's going on," Dale ordered. The rubber man stopped and slowly looked around. It put one hand to its throat to indicate its obvious lack of voice. The Captain pointed to a keyboard and Mike sat and started to type. Braydon watched as a series of twelve intricate polynomial equations appeared on the screen. He recognized their quantum significance. It was a magic spell reduced to equations. Mike the Magus stopped. He went over to another terminal and started to type another message. His hands shook as he typed.

"Dale, I am so glad you discovered the suits and the spells. Philippe, Miguelito and I will be your slaves forever. This was not my first choice, but when the Morality Police came to arrest us, I only had an hour or so of computer access. They let us freely arrange our funerals, but I bribed some nameless bureaucrat for the youth treatment and then arranged to have us shipped to Cagliostro-1. The treatment was one of the worst things I've ever done. I still don't know how they stabilize the genetic structure and grant eternal youth. They should burn in hell for even creating that treatment." The rubber man stopped to let Dale ready the message and then cleared the screen. His rubber body jerked and twitched.

"But all of that is history and you can now decrypt the file. The most important thing you need to know is that Cagliostro must fly to another sun. I think you discovered my choice was Altair, a main sequence yellow star just like Sol. You have the other number and with it, you can activate the faster-than-light drive. Even so, it will take 24 years to reach Altair. However, by the time you get there, we'll all be immortal rubber and travel times won't matter. I calculated that would take thirty years to reach Cagliostro by the slower than light shuttle. If that is true, you still have a dozen years to get away from Sol. All of this is explained on the disc. Also, all of my spells are encoded on the disc." The rubber man had to steady his hands. The tremors were almost too severe to continue. He started typing again.

"I can only communicate like this for short periods. My final incantation had a price. I can't communicate like this for much more than a few minutes. We had to give up something for the spell we cast. We are sex slaves, now. Shove the dildo up my ass when I'm small. I need to rest. Don't ask me to do this again." With that, the rubber figure of Mike the Magus jerked and twitched and collapsed on the floor. Dale and Braydon watched as his body shrank down to twelve inches. Dale picked up the statuette and inserted the dildo. A faint green glow formed inside the statuette. Braydon stopped his decoding and asked what had happened. Dale explained. Then he entered the coordinates of Altair and instructed the computer to launch the station as soon as the faster-than-light engines were ready.

"I have a bad feeling. Mike never steered me wrong. Why did he want us to get as far from Earth as we can in a dozen years?"

"Really? How bad could it be?" Braydon asked.

"He found out the secret to the rubber spell. He saved himself from death. Apparently, that isn't all he did. Small spells don't carry much in of a sacrifice."

"A sacrifice?" Braydon asked.

"There's a price to pay for everything. That's why you don't see many magicians actually make things teleport, or time travel, or create precious metals. Stuff like that." The Captain said. Braydon paused in deep thought.

"He said we, we had to give up something. What kind of spell requires youth and three magus?" Braydon asked. Captain Dale blanched. Even with the green of the rubber suit, he turned pale and trembled.

"Oh crap. Do you remember the Greek who said give me a long enough lever and I'll move the world? Whatever the spell was, it has had thirty years to work," He muttered as he entered the activation code for the faster-than-light drive and the coordinates for Altair. The computer began the activation sequence. The calculations would take a little time before the actual launch.

"Now you're being a drama queen," Braydon observed.

"No, I'm not. Look, thirty years ago the moralistic powers-that-be retreated from space flight. Hypocritically, they didn't abandon technology. Instead, they secretly created an elite class of nearly immortal rulers with the youth treatments. I only found out because as Captain I was privy to all the secret dispatches that arrived on station. I'm guessing that Mike found out by some means and that's why they arrested him."

"So?" Braydon shrugged.

"You went into the chamber, didn't you? You're such an exceptionally observant person, how can you tell me you don't know what happened? Didn't you see?" the Captain asked.

"I was sedated. They said I had to be sedated," Braydon felt a chill run through his body even thought the room temperature was now nearing 33 centigrade.

"Well, I'll just say that three men enter the chamber and one leaves rejuvenated. The elite moralists have used the treatment to remain in power," Dale answered.

"Son of a bitch, I would never have submitted to being rejuvenated. Not if it meant that," Braydon said.

"I still hear the screaming in my dreams. The only way they kept me here was to deny me the launch code to activate the faster-than-light drive. That's why I didn't know the launch codes," Dale replied. He punched the second number into the computer and watched as the consoles that monitored the drive engines unlock. In about thirty minutes, Earth would know that Cagliostro-1 was leaving orbit. When they radioed and got no answer, they would try to shut down the engines. Dale quickly reprogrammed the command controls so that nothing would interfere with their departure.

"Remembering all this is disturbing. I'll tell you what Braydon, the computer will calculate and launch all on its own. I don't want to be flesh and blood when the faster-than-light drive engages. Stand up and say those three little words in my ear," the Captain ordered.

"You can't do that. You'll need to talk to Earth when they realize that the engines are going to engage. If you don't answer, they'll shut the engines down remotely," Braydon answered. Dale bit his fist and thought for a moment.

"Let's tell them that an asteroid hit the station amidships and caused the computer to execute fail-safe to prevent any damage to earth. They'll believe that for a little while. After that it will be too late," Dale answered.

"We can record a disaster message. That way we only can use the computer play the message back to earth. They'll think we are dead," Braydon suggested. Captain Dale agreed. They ripped old clothing, created fake blood and with a little fake smoke created a creditable disaster message. They spooled the message into the automatic server following it with a repeated message warning to stay away from the station. Braydon set up a monitor program to notify them of any communications.

They returned to the garden chamber with the statuettes happily vibrating in sexual oblivion. Braydon pulled his hood up over his ears and hair leaving only his eyes, nose and mouth exposed.

"I'm of two minds about how I want to look. What do you think about this?" Braydon asked. Dale looked at Braydon's smooth head with only a face on it. He gave Dale a moment to look at him and then he pulled the rubber hood over his eyes and nose leaving only his mouth exposed. He smoothed the rubber to narrow and elongate the top of his head and sharpen his chin. It gave him an alien, otherworldly appearance.

"Or this? Which look is sexier?" Braydon asked.

"Truthfully, eyes out. It's hot! Really, really hot," Dale wanted to fuck the man right then and there.

"OK!" Braydon said and let Dale trim the rubber to fit a tight oval around his eyes, nose and mouth.

"Are you ready?" Dale whispered. Braydon nodded and Dale said the incantation. Braydon's body shook and convulsed. He moaned as flesh and bone turned into green rubber. The transformation didn't stop at his neck; instead, it went completely through him and converted all of him into rubber. Dale held him tight until the shaking stopped. Braydon's once human and now rubber head sat on a rubber body of exquisite beauty, musculature and sexual power. He gazed at Dale through rubber eyes. He hugged Dale against his new rubber body and ground his crotch into Dale's crotch.

"It worked," Braydon forced the words out of his mouth. His voice squeaked like a doggie toy. He broke up laughing at the sound.

"It sure did," Dale answered making his voice as deep as possible eliciting another round of laughter.

"Make my hood into a mask with eyeholes, nose and mouth out, ears covered and the top of my head exposed," Dale added. Braydon let go and picked up a sharp knife. He pulled the hood completely over Dale's head and then cut holes for the mouth and nose and the top of the head. He made the eyeholes just slits. The look was slick and hot. He let Dale look at the effect in the water of the pool. His wavy hair stood on his head, his eyes were mysterious, and his nose and jaw formed a solid, handsome base to his head.

"Do it! Convert me now," Dale said. He leaned against Braydon and listened to the incantation. Fire burnt through his body as it turned to from flesh to rubber. Every muscle in his body battled the change, seizing, contracting, convulsing. He felt his heart stop, his chest stopped moving and finally his brain jolted itself into a furious conflagration of awareness as it changed from neurons to rubber molecules. When he stopped shaking, he found that he was limp in Braydon's strong arms.

"Mother fucking PAIN! That hurt! Why didn't you tell me it hurt so bad?" Dale's whined. His voice squeaked.

"Whiny bitch," Braydon grabbed him and for the first time kissed a completely rubber mouth and tongue. The tastes and smells of their bodies infused the rubber of their bodies excited their tongues. Braydon's thick body and tight muscles flexed like taught bands of rubber. When he flexed, the muscles bounced back into shape. Braydon pulled Dale down to the ground and started sucking his cock. Braydon's mouth was hot on Dale's rubbery cock. Dale wrapped his mouth around Braydon's cock. It felt just as thick with its big, broad head forcing Dale's throat open. Dale felt his mouth and throat expand to accommodate Braydon's cock. They sucked at each other's genitals as the starving eat food, desperate, frantic, and frenzied, They only stopped when their balls released a load of rubber into their cocks. Dale felt Braydon's cock expand and bulge as his body stiffened in sexual fulfillment. His own cock grew with each throb of his orgasm.

As the fires of sex died, both men rested against each other's new bodies. This was different than before. They could feel that their bodies weren't just flesh inside rubber; their bodies were wholly rubber. Their bones, muscles, and viscera weren't enhanced flesh and blood anymore. It was soft green rubber of different textures and consistencies. There was no heartbeat, no regular movement of the chest for air, no gurgling in the stomach, no heat. Their new bodies completely stopped when they stopped. Braydon's felt the energy flowing into his rubber body increasing his desires for sex. The energy permeated his body with a greenish glow. Dale felt a raw sexual energy in his body that increased every desire and craving. They lay there, their bodies almost blending into the green grass, moving gently, rhythmically against each other. The slightest movement translated itself into pure sexual energy.

An alarm from the communications console sounded accompanied by little red lights blinking all over the board. Dale and Braydon got up and watched as the expected message from Earth concerning the activation of the engines arrived and the computer played the prerecorded response reporting the false disaster. Airtight doors closed all over the station as the computer prepared for faster-than-light drive. Vast waves of quantum energy flowed over Cagliostro-1 changing its physical characteristics, altering its subatomic structure, and introducing certainty into the positions of every atomic particle. The computer recorded and tracked the position of each atom, each electron, and each neutron. Braydon and Dale's rubber bodies began to glow and pulse when the quantum generators warped the fabric of space and time around Cagliostro-1.

Once before they had experienced the sexual side effects of quantum drive. Fascinated by the glow from inside his body, Braydon realized what was happening on a subatomic level. He felt quantum energy building inside body. If that energy wasn't dissipated, it would convert his body into a glowing ball of pure energy and be drawn into the fusion drive and converted into lead. He grabbed up the carry bag and handed it to Dale.

"Quick, reanimate the statues. We have to dispel this energy and the best way to do it is by having sex."

Dale quickly spoke the incantation and reanimated the four statuettes. Braydon spoke one word: "Sex." The six rubber men sank into a mass of arms and legs, tongues and cocks, asses and balls. Mike the Magus broke free and grabbed a pencil. He poked a hole in the end of his rubber cock. He did the same for the other five rubber men. This would release their rubberized semen. Their bodies were glowing into the yellow-green range of the spectrum.

Dale grabbed Mike and began to fuck him. Braydon grabbed Philippe and pushed his cock against Philippe's cock forcing it up inside his rubber body. They fucked each other really hard reaching orgasm in barely a minute. Derrick and Miguelito sank into a mutual sixty-nine. As they reached orgasm, the energy level in their bodies stopped building. The orgy was on and six male bodies writhed and squirmed on the grass. Driven by the quantum changes, they sank into sexual oblivion. They fucked to dissipate the energy. They fucked because that was their nature as rubber men. The energy of the quantum field would keep them aroused and able to orgasm until the quantum field shut down.

Caglioastro-1 lurched as giant fusion-powered engines burst into life creating a small sun inside the blast chamber. This was the point of no return. Nothing could reverse these engines once they ignited. The same fusion cycle that powered Sol and all the other suns in the universe now took control of their fate. It would only stop when the quantum drive caused it to collapse though the hidden dimensions and into another plane of existence. Billions of quads of energy poured out from the exhaust ports and into space. The structure of the station creaked and groaned as slowly and inexorably began its journey to Altair. It would take forty-eight hours of Earth time for Cagliostro-1 at constant acceleration to reach three quarters of light speed. Once the computers stabilized the entire station, the quantum fields shut down and let Cagliostro-1 coast through space. It would be years before the station's computers triggered the faster than light drive for deceleration around Altair. (footnote #4)

When the quantum field collapsed, the six rubber men sank to the green grass and finally slept. Rubber sperm worked on each their bodies as they slept. Dale woke first. The garden chamber was entirely dark. He had Mike the Magus's cock buried deep in his throat. It tasted cummy and delicious. He tried to move and realize that Braydon lay on his back with his cock buried deep inside his guts. He shook Braydon off and listened to the grumbling as Braydon came awake. They both rolled over and lay against each other's rubber bodies.

"I forgot how dark it gets in here. I can't see a damn thing," Dale grouched. I need a coffee, he the thought. He hugged Braydon. Fuck coffee, he thought, this is better. He felt energy levels increase inside his body.

"Aren't you glad I didn't program the quantum effect to last for the entire trip?" Braydon asked. He wrapped one of his thick, muscular arms around Dale. The embrace felt so good. Dale's body glowed faintly. He just wanted to lay in the dark as if he had no worries in the world. He felt strangely full as if he had too much to eat.

"Two dozen years having non-stop sex? I wouldn't have a sensible neuron left after that. I'd just be a babbling sex toy," Dale replied. He glanced over at the control console. Little yellow lights indicated additional transmissions from earth.

"Look at all the message lights! Well, they can wait until the lights come up. I'm not their captain anymore," Dale mused. Braydon groaned. A sharp pain caused him to double over. He screamed and felt his stomach crack open. A small rubber statue fell out of his body and onto the grass. He sobbed at the pain and rolled onto his knees still bent over. He picked up the statue in one hand and massaged his stomach closed with the other. Dale couldn't see what had happened.

"Braydon, what happened? What's wrong?" Dale asked. Braydon laid a heavy hand on Dale's stomach. He felt the shape of another small statue.

"Stomach," he finally said through the pain. Dale grabbed his own stomach. He felt the shape of little man in his distended stomach. As he touched his stomach, it split open and disgorged a rubber statue. Braydon grabbed him as he cried in pain and then helped him massage his stomach closed.

"What happened to us?" Braydon asked. They both fumbled against each other in the dark.

"I'm not sure. Mike the Magus was fiddling around with us when we started. I didn't pay much attention to what he did." Dale felt the figure. It definitely was human and definitely male.

"He punctured a hole in the end of my dick. He did that to everyone. Didn't you taste the rubbery cum we all were squirting into each other? What if these statues are our own special love children? What if he made plans for more than six men to arrive at Altair?" Braydon speculated.

"That would mean we just gave birth," Dale said. Braydon giggled at the incongruity of it. They both felt the other men lying around them and discovered that Derrick, Mike the Magus, Philippe and Miguelito all had distended bellies.

"Bloody bastard! I wonder how much more he's hiding," Dale growled in his rubbery voice.

"Too late now, Dale, too late now. Whatever's going to happen is beyond our control. Cagliostro-1 will get us to Altair and beyond. Let's just enjoy the ride," Braydon fumbled around for Dale and kissed him. This time, he didn't compare kissing a rubber man to kissing flesh and blood. This time it was rubber kissing rubber and it felt perfectly normal. They relaxed in each other's arms and waited for the artificial sunrise of the garden chamber.

At the first glimmer of artificial sunrise, Dale got up and started checking out the messages from earth. Nothing they heard surprised them. At first Earth seemed reluctant to accept the fate of Cagliostro-1. Earth saw conspiracy theories everywhere. They threatened, then cajoled and finally accepted the fate of the station. Much of the chatter from the Earth government was enigmatic because they had already abandoned the station. Dale archived messages in his personal files.

They had traveled just over 48 hours at three-quarters light speed. They were already nearly 500 billion miles away from earth. That was two light days. News from Earth was getting farther and farther behind. It wouldn't be too long before the news would be so dated that it was insignificant.

Braydon checked out Cagliostro-1's flight systems. Just as he finished, he heard rustling behind them. Braydon and Dale watched as Derrick, Mike, Philippe and Miguelito all disgorged their own statuettes. They couldn't talk, but that didn't prevent the process from being painful. The four examined the new rubber men. Mike the Magus took the six small statues and set them on a bench near the pool of water. Dale studied them intently. There were differences between the six rubber men beside the obvious. Mike, Philippe and Miguelito had been turned to rubber while looking like toy soldiers, Derrick, Dale and Braydon had chosen their forms. Derrick's slick, smooth, torpedo-shaped head attracted Philippe most of all. Dale's mask-like face attracted his old friend Mike. Braydon and Miguelito had the same physical build, heavy muscles, thick arms, thick legs, and big cocks. They had a little contest over who was bigger.

Dale finally pulled Mike over to the console and quickly reduced him to his statuette form. He plugged his butt with an atomic dildo. Braydon said the magic words on Philippe and Miguelito and in mere seconds they shrank to their statuette shapes. Derrick motioned why and fussed silently at Dale, waving and clapping and gesturing. Braydon surprised Derrick from behind with the incantation and reduced him to a statuette. Only Dale and Braydon remained animate and full size. The rest of the men were glowing little statues with atomic powered vibrators up their asses.

"Experiment time. Bring me back if this doesn't work," Braydon asked. Braydon took a microphone and recorded both of the incantations that made them transform to and from the statuette form. He stuck the earphones to his head and tapped the keyboard. He felt his body go stiff and start to shrink. He felt like steam condensing on a cold surface. His body got small and hard. He felt inert. He waited for the recordings to play in his ears and restore him to full size. However, Dale had other plans. He removed the earphones from the sides of Braydon's statuette.

"Sorry Braydon, I have to do certain things as Captain that I'd rather not have you snooping over my shoulder," Dale said as he patted the doll-like statue on its small head. Braydon tried to object but in this toy form, he couldn't move. He plugged an atomic powered dildo into Braydon's butt. The vibrator was powerful for his small size. He felt energy built within his body and he realized that the glow he saw was coming from the behind his eyes. The energy build up in his body turned into sexual ecstasy within seconds. Unable to have an orgasm, Braydon floated on the verge of release as his greater levels of energy built in his body. This was more intense than the sex he experienced during the quantum changes required for faster-than-light drives.

Dale started reading the messages from Earth and cataloging them. He set aside some for Braydon to read. Others he kept private. Almost at the end of the messages was a report of metallic asteroids from the Oort cloud falling towards the sun. Dale put it on the top of the list for Braydon to check out.

The messages from Mike the Magus were next. These he encoded these files and saved them to his private files. There he found the details of the spells Mike used to transform his body and the bodies of his two assistants into rubber. Mike turned himself and his two assistants into mute, rubber sex slaves. They could only initiate sex.

The three rubber suits he sent to Dale were somewhat different. He could remove it with a reversal incantation. Dale deleted the file from all the systems to ensure it could never be used. Another characteristic he found was that muteness enhanced the sex. It seemed that Derrick inadvertently found another sexual enhancement. By covered his human completely and smoothing his features, the rubber suit would permit his body to be molded and bent into any shape without causing damage. Derrick could be twisted, molded or bent into any conceivable shape. Dale looked over at Derrick. His little statue of a body glowed green from the sexual energy pouring through it. One day he would mold Derrick into a dildo and use him. As he read on, Dale discovered that all of their bodies were malleable to some extent. That was why they could invert a penis and fuck from both front and back. Dale put fisting on his list of things to do when he reanimated the men. At the very end of the files was a discussion of the smaller statues. Mike listed a dozen possible outcomes for these new statuettes created by his incantation. Dale encrypted the file. He wanted to determine what effects had actually manifested themselves with these statuettes.

The very last file on Mike's list described his final incantation on the planet. It was a sobering curse that nearly killed Mike and his assistants. Dale encrypted the file and hid it deep within the computer. He hoped that by the time the results of the curse actually occurred, their light cone was far from the Earth.

Dale left the garden chamber and went to the medical facility. There he fashioned a nanosphere that repeated the incantation to restore him to human size. He didn't want to be caught by Braydon and reduced to immobility. At the same time, he wanted someone to talk to over the years ahead of them. Mike, Philippe and Miguelito were mute slaves and eventually wouldn't care if they ever talked. All they would want eventually was sex. Derrick was mute and would eventually become subservient. Braydon had a prodigious intellect. This implant would prevent Braydon from shutting down Dale's body with a spell. To test the device, Dale pronounced his own spell and felt his body shrink and grow small. He was amazed at the level of consciousness that he retained. He triggered the nanosphere and restored his body to normal size. His only worry was if he could trigger the device while plugged into an atomic vibrator. He had no way of knowing in advance. He would have to take the chance.

Now he was ready to restore Braydon. Dale returned to the garden chamber. Braydon's statuette was glowing bright green. Dale didn't remove the dildo from Braydon's butt when he pronounced the incantation. Braydon grew to normal human size. His green rubber body still glowed from the inside. Immediately his cock started drooling rubbery green cum on the floor. He glared at Dale.

"That was unfair, Dale, unfair." Braydon grabbed his cock and only gave it one stroke before he came grunting and groaning. When his orgasm stopped, he stretched his body working the kinks out of it.

"You got to experience that. It's better than quantum drive, better than anything I ever experienced." Braydon was on his knees wiping his cum from the floor and licking it off his fingers. Dale could smell his sexiness.

"I'm looking forward to it. Right now, I need for you to do some long range sensor readings of the Oort Cloud before we get too far away."

"It will be weeks before we're out of quantum sensor range. I need to do that from main control. Do you know what I'm looking for?" Braydon asked. They both left the garden chamber and went back to the control room.

"No. I don't know what's happening, but something is happening," Dale said.

"I'm going to reconfigure the main controls to the garden chamber. It'll be easier than traipsing naked through the corridors. Braydon said.

"How about adding some lights in here so we won't be lost in the dark." Dale asked.

"Just get a strip lamp from the storeroom and plug it in. Derrick used to do that stuff. How about going back and animating him. He'll do some of his old duties," Braydon keyed the lights and control panels in master control. The room lit up in a colorful brilliance. Both men squinted against the light. Dale showed Braydon the message from Earth about the Oort cloud.

"It will wait. No rush," Dale avoided animating Derrick.

"By the way, what's the skinny on the six new statuettes?" Braydon asked. He activated the long-rang sensors and initiated the scan. Braydon started reading the messages from Earth and the posts from Mike the Magus that Dale had set aside for him to read.

"We're going to have to animate one of the new guys to find out. They're either children or clones. Mike the Magus didn't know what would happen, but we reproduce periodically when we have sex." Dale smiled weakly. Braydon only shook his head affirmatively. It took a few minutes for him to answer. Braydon's ability to concentrate on complex science and carry on a simultaneous conversation at the same time always unnerved Dale.

"Children or clones? What a quantum nightmare that must be. How do magicians get those complex spells to work?" Braydon listened intently to a steady chatter in his earphones and read more messages on two computer screens.

"I dunno and I don't wanna find out," Dale laughed. He massaged Braydon's thick shoulders with his hands.

"Hey big boy, don't start anything you can't finish. Or I should say I can't finish," Braydon laughed. He retrieved more message traffic from near Earth orbit. He seemed to take a deep breath and added; "There's lots of near Earth communications traffic about asteroids. I've tapped into all the comm networks I can. The most alarming ones say that they are iron asteroids. The military says they are only iron coated and really contain ultra-heavy elements. The asteroids are all falling towards Sol." Braydon shut down his communications screens, blocked access from other quantum sensors, transferred as much functionality as he could to the control consol in the garden chamber, and coded the entire system to his personal access codes. Dale stopped rubbing his shoulders and just stood there bewildered. Braydon shrugged and stood up.

"Dale, add your own personal code so none one else but the two of us can access the controls," he ordered. Dale added his key codes and even through the partial rubber mask looked stupidly at Braydon.

"What's going on?" Dale asked.

"You never did study the Quantum energy calculations in grad school, did you? It's as obvious as the dick hanging out of your crotch," Braydon's sneer showed on even the minimal features of his rubber face - teasing Dale was too easy.

"Tell me why, nerd boy, tell me why," Dale said in a disturbed voice. He enjoyed sparring with Braydon.

"Whatever Mike the Magus thought he did, his curse will result in Sol going supernova in about ten years. We should be halfway to Altair and thankfully out of the blast area. Even at that distance, the gamma ray burst will be fatal to humans. Someone really, really, really, pissed him off. The quantum equations he showed me were a form of magic spell. He could use them to cast a spell within the control computer. We need to control access to Cagliostro-1's computer and control systems," Braydon answered. He folded his arms and watched Dale. Dale just shook his head affirmatively.

"That's what I thought, too," Dale's said softly. Braydon's sharp insight was spot on the money.

"Listen, we really need to be on the same side of things. I'll make you a deal, Dale. You'll always be the Captain and the boss for me. I won't oppose you on anything. I won't hide anything from you. I'll always cover your back and I won't keep information from you. The only thing I ask in return is that you don't trick me as you did when you didn't restore me. Just tell me that you need privacy and I'll do as you say. You have my word that I'll always be on your side. OK?" Braydon proposed his deal.

"I agree. I need your scientific expertise and your powers of perception into things. Not only that, I need more than a sex partner in this adventure. I need a brain with common sense. I think we're going to have some hard times ahead," Dale held his hand out and they shook to consummate their agreement. Braydon went back to the garden chamber to check on the control systems he had set up and Dale made a side trip to the storeroom for a light strip. In the storeroom, he also picked up a mirror about a meter square. He figured it was better than using reflections in the water of the garden chamber.

When Dale arrived at the garden chamber, he found Braydon sitting on his haunches, his feet curled underneath his butt, knees forward, and his cock and balls resting on the grass between his thick thighs. He held the rubber statuette that his body had disgorged earlier that day.

"I hate firsts. There's just so much I don't understand about these magical quantum manipulations. What if this little guy is a true clone? Will it contain my knowledge? Will it need to be educated completely?" Braydon put one hand up to his chin. Dale went over to the bench where the other five statuettes sat and picked out the one that belonged to him.

"Too much navel gazing, Bray. It is what it is," Dale said and he spoke the words to animate Braydon's double. Braydon jumped up and away from the figure as it grew. A younger, thinner version of Braydon stood in front of them. The young rubber man wasn't an exact match for Braydon. But he strongly resembled him. He stood with his arms crossed tight across his chest and his head tucked against the top of its chest and shoulder. It slowly opened its eyes and stood up straight. Dale thought he looked more like eighteen or twenty years old.

"Well, he's definitely your offspring," Dale said.

"And he's not a clone, thankfully," Braydon looked relieved. The young figure looked at both of them and then his body. Braydon moved him in front of the mirror. The three green figures regarded their reflections.

"Daddy," the young version of Braydon said. He hugged Braydon and kissed him. Braydon's eyes nearly popped out of his head. Dale just chuckled until the youth turned to him and said, "Mummsie!" and broke into a hearty laugh. Braydon had to hold onto the younger man to keep from laughing too hard. Dale nearly swallowed his tongue. Surprised, he looked at the two men, grabbed his cock and waved it at them.

"Do I look like a Mummsie, rubber boy?" Dale blustered at the green youth and then said to Braydon; "Just our fucking bad luck he has your aptitude for sarcasm!"

"I don't know what the word means. I know it takes two to make me and I have some idea that that one of them is a Daddy and the other is a Mummsie. Will you be my Mummsie?" the young figure asked. Dale couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or was telling the truth. Braydon laughed even harder.

"What do you know? Can you tell me where we are and what all those little blinking lights mean?" Braydon asked. The young figure just shrugged.

"We're here in a garden. I look like you and that makes me believe that I come from you in some way. I also know that I was part of this other man standing with us. My small form, what I was before I grew big, was pleasurable… I know that you are Braydon and you are Captain Dale but I don't know who I am. I know that I'm new. I know that I'm not exactly identical to either of you. I don't know how I came to be. And I haven't a clue as to what those lights mean," the figure answered.

"How about quantum mechanics? Orbital mathematics? Solar physics? Quadratic equations?" Braydon asked.

"I can learn if you teach me," the young figure said earnestly as he leaned towards Braydon. Braydon's face registered sadness and disappointment at the news. It was Dale's turn to laugh.

"OK! Now we know. I'm your Uncle Dale, by the way. No mummsie, Uncle, got it? We need to have that distinction. Now, what does this do for you?" Dale said. He wrapped an arm around the young rubber man and pulled him against his chest. He kissed him hard tasting fresh rubbery lips. The youth responded, hot and heavy, humping his hips and getting erect. He definitely knew about sex and he wasn't shy.

"Stop that!" Braydon jerked the two of them apart and spun his double around to face him.

"Why?" replied the young version of Braydon.

"Yeah, why?" Dale asked.

"If you're worried about us reproducing, Daddy, don't be. I can't reproduce with either of you. But I can enjoy your bodies. Can't I?" The young Braydon answered. He leaned over to hug and stroke Braydon's body. Braydon nearly jumped out of his rubber skin but after a few seconds composed himself. His newly created rubber offspring humped his hips against Braydon.

"Sorry. Nothing's wrong with it. Old hang-ups die-hard. You should call me Father not Daddy," Braydon explained. Dale and the youth just listened. Braydon hesitated.

"I just meant this is not the time for sex." He patted the young man on both shoulder. The green glow in his body brightened because sexual energy increased when they touched.

"Now what shall we call you? You need a name and it ain't going to be junior, that's for sure," Braydon kissed the young man on the forehead in a fatherly fashion and let his cock slip between the youth's legs.

"What's junior?" The young man asked.

"Not you! No Juniors. Your name is Bryce," Dale answered. He said it decisively and Braydon and the newly named Bryce accepted it.

"Now it's your turn," Braydon said to Dale. Dale picked up the statue of his double. He said the words that would reanimate it. In a few seconds, a young rubber man - almost his double but tall and gangly - stood before him.

"You're name is Dario. I'm Dale, your father. And this is Uncle Braydon and his son Bryce," he introduced them. Dale watched as the young rubber men looked at each other and embraced. It wasn't a normal friendly handshake and hug between new friends; it was a full-fledged sexual groping. Both Braydon and Dale pulled their doubles apart. The kids embraced their rubber bodies and glowed with sexual energy.

"Ah, shit, Captain! We're going to have to populate Cagliostro-1 with these guys. They're sex crazed," Braydon gasped between his licking and sucking.

"And we have twelve years to do it. At least until we get to Altair," Dale answered.

"And maybe many years after that," Braydon and his son sank to the grass sucking each other's cocks. Bryce's cock was larger than Braydon's cock. The kid adored his father's muscularity and extra bulk. Dale and Dario just settled into fucking each other. They were wild and loud. The four of them carried on with each other for the better part of an hour, switching partners and exploring each other's bodies.

A half dozen blinking messages and their accompanying alarm bells demanded attention.

"Bryce, go answer those messages," Dale said. He put a hand on Braydon to keep him from saying anything. Bryce walked over to the board and looked at it.

"Uncle Dale, I can't do that. I don't know even what all the lights mean and sorry to say, I can't read."

"Dario, can you read?" Dale asked. Dario approached the control panel and found he didn't understand anything about it. Dario shook his head from side to side. . He didn't know how to read.

"It's strange. I know how to act. I know how to talk. I knew that I was your offspring. I can even quote Proust, but I can't read that stuff you called messages. And I can't name the thing they appear on," Bryce said.

"No shit! Well, that's an interesting how-de-do!" Dale mused. Then he wondered why that particular phrase had popped into his mind and why Bryce could quote Proust.

"But I would liked to have tasted anchovy pizza once in my life," Bryce added trying to be nonchalant.

"Bryce, we don't shit or piss or any of that stuff like fart after eating broccoli," Dale explained. He's got my bad habit of being anti-intellectual, thought Dale.

"How do you know these things?" Braydon asked Bryce. It's like he inherited half of my mind, thought Braydon.

"I don't know how I know these things. I know about Earth years, my age, reproduction, pleasure, sex for sure, lots of things like that. But, I can't tell you what this," he stamped the floor, "is called. It just is a blank when I think about it." Bryce answered. They turned their attention to Dario. He felt obliged to answer.

"We take knowledge mostly from our fathers and less so from our uncles. I know all about your feelings, father, Your sensations, your old love affairs, your mannerisms, and mostly abstract thoughts," his raised one rubber eyebrow before he added: "But, you have to remember that complex knowledge - learned matters like math, science, and engineering - Well, we just don't know anything technical, if that's the proper word. I don't even know where we are. Are we still on Earth?" Dario shrugged and grinned. His green rubber face had an uncanny range of expression. Dale and Braydon stood there a little stunned at the revelations.

"No. We are on Cagliostro-1, a space station on a one way voyage to Altair," Dale answered.

"Just the twelve of us? No one else?" Bryce asked. It hadn't yet sunk in that there were twelve men now on the station. The six original rubber men and the six offspring. The boy is perceptive, Dale thought as he counted the number of people on the station.

"That's all." Dale said. Maybe some others will escape the coming conflagration but I doubt it, he thought.

"That's all, Uncle Dale, unless you count my knowledge of what's a hen-way," Bryce answered. Braydon nearly jumped on his new rubber son but he stopped. Instead, Braydon put an arm around Dale's shoulder

"What's a hen way?" Dale asked. Bryce was ready with the answer.

"uh, 'bout four pounds," he answered. Dale always fell for that joke and somehow Bryce knew it. The two young rubber men giggled and smirked. Braydon laughed and held onto Dale as he recited his litany of bastards, sons of bitches, corn-hole, ass-wipe, and other choice words.

"We're breeding a gang of arrogant, smart-assed little snots," Dale said.

"Well, we were nothing but arrogant, smart-assed little snots way back when. At least I was."

"Let me ask a question you might or might not know. Are you two going to reproduce since we had sex?" Dale asked.

"How often can we reproduce?" Braydon added before the boys could answer. Both boys looked at each other.

"Uh no, we can't reproduce for one Earth year. We'll grow some physically, too. Just like growing up," Dario answered. A soft green glow flushed Dario and Bryce's faces. They're so cute. That was a blush, Dale thought. Bryce and Dario shuffled a little nervously. Dale stammered: "You know you can only have, reproduce, give birth, uuuh, I don't know what else to call it... But you can only create offspring once every four months. I'm looking forward to having brothers and I'm looking forward to having offspring."

"Can we have offspring?" Dale asked Dario.

"Sure I can have offspring with my Father if I want. He'll be younger and maybe different. Offspring will always be unique," Dario answered.

"And you know this for sure?" Braydon asked.

"Yes. It's like it's built into my mind. Something put it there. I don't know what or why," Bryce answered his father. Dale and Braydon looked at the other trying to make sense out of what they were hearing.

"This is way more sophisticated than just a simple magic spell," Dale remarked to Braydon. Braydon indicated his agreement.

"Can you tell us anything about the other four, uh, replicants?" Braydon used a word from Earth's literature. It wasn't exactly appropriate, but he figured it was a better name than babies, boys, kids, and all those other words. Braydon motioned for them to wait to answer and said to them; "Let's use the word replicants for our offspring, huh? In addition, for the first year of your lives we can call you boys. You look to be about eighteen or twenty years old by the old earth standards." Dale made juggling motions with his hands and then agreed. The two boys leaned against each other and agreed.

"Now, what do you know about the other four replicants?" Dale asked.

"Can we reanimate and name them, please?" Bryce asked. They went over to the briefcase sitting on the bench and handled the four pairs of statuettes.

"Hey, I don't know their names, but I can tell who's Father and Son," Dario said.

"They're vibrating! And they're having orgasms! They feel so good!" Bryce's face lit up with a broad smile. Dario paired up the fathers and sons. Bryce moved the statues around into two groups of four.

"That's Derrick and Miguelito. Derrick decided to have that smooth torpedo head," Braydon explained.

"You can shove him up your ass and let the vibrations drive you to orgasm. He'll know you did it and he'll enjoy it," Dario said. Dale's eyes popped wide open. Bryce laughed at him.

"Let call these two Ass Bandit and Butt Munch," Dario laughed. Dale and Braydon both started to talk. Bryce waved them off.

"You are so bad! No, no, no, no, no. Let's keep a little dignity here!" Bryce said.

"What dignity? You just told your Dad to stick a living statue up his ass and get his rocks off. When we animate this bunch, we're going to suck and fuck until we pass out from exhaustion." Dario elbowed Bryce.

"Oh yeah, sure, sex! Well these two deserve names like Percy and his partner Pudenda," Bryce smart assed. Dale and Braydon burst into laughter. Dario was not pleased.

"No, Dingleberry! How about calling them Diego and Dondi," Dario proposed.

"Diego and Dondi, Diego and Dondi, I like those two names, very subtle, very appropriate," Bryce said. Dale and Braydon never did figure out the joke their sons referred to but Diego and Dondi sounded good.

"Hey, Derrick was one of your crewmen and yet he went mute. I'm guessing that he was a cock hound and screw-up?" Dario asked his father.

"Uh, yes." The two boys were full of surprises.

"I hope you locked the controls of this place so he can't fuck with them. You did that, didn't you?" Dario asked. Dale tried to ignore him.

"That's why you asked us if we could read, isn't it?" Dario leaned towards his father and looked him straight in the eyes. Dale shrugged.

"Yes, I did," Dale answered. Bryce paired up the other four statuettes and handed Dale on of the offspring. They both fondled the statues.

"That's Mike the Magus and his assistant Philippe," Braydon said.

"Assistant? Now that's a nice euphemism for what he did," Dario smirked and rolled his emerald green eyes. Dale admired the greens of his eyes.

"How about naming them Dogboy and his faithful Chihuahua Butt-snuffle?" Bryce joked. Dario smacked his shoulder.

"Now who's being silly? Let's try Pierre and Francois?" Dario suggested. Bryce frowned.

"No, Jean (John) and Sean," Bryce said. The four men giggled hysterically at the onomatopoeic nature of the names.

"I'll take that as a yes," Bryce said through pressed lips. The two boys humped each other. Dale and Braydon both cleared their throats and the two boys broke apart.

"Look, Dad, you go read your precious messages. You still have links to the past. The future for us is out there towards Altair," Dario said. Dale stood there stunned by his answer. Braydon started to say something. Bryce interrupted.

"Don't feel bad. Go read that stuff with him. We know that you want to know what's going on back there. All those Earthly worries belong to you. Earth has no hold on us. All we want is a warm place to have sex with another man," Bryce leaned against Dale. His body was hot and sexy and prompted Dale's cock to stiffen and rise. Dario poked his crotch into Braydon's backside making him jump. The two boys were obviously teasing.

"Stop that!" Their lighthearted demeanor disturbed Dale.

"What for? You two can do whatever stuff you want to do with those messages. Dario and I will animate Sean, Jean, Diego, Dondi and their fathers. When you're done, come and join our orgy. Leave the Earth behind," Bryce tugged Dario away and started to leave.

"Wait a minute, god damn it," Dale fussed. The boys turned and faced their fathers.

"Nope, no hell or damnation. None of it. All that metaphysical horseshit is gone, left behind, and forever cast away. What would you want us to do? We can't live your lives. I hate to dump on you so fast, but we are not bound by your concept of society. Whatever is behind us is really and truly part the past. We don't have to live that life. It's receding from us minute by minute as we speak," Dario answered his father. He stood defiant and determined.

"You're defying the Captain?" Braydon tried to bully them back.

"No, go fly Cagliostro-1. We can't and we're not going to even try to fly it. You two have that duty. What you have to realize is that we were never from Earth. We're free from all that. We're going to be from Cagliostro-1 and perhaps Altair. We're rubber not flesh and blood and we were designed for non-stop sex." Bryce and Dario left the immediate area of the control panel. Dale and Braydon stood alone. Bewildered, they just stared at each other for a moment. Dale finally shook his head and smiled.

"It's always painful when the kids leave the nest and go off on their own, ain't it?"

"They grow up so fast. Like when did we become stupid?"

"Yesterday, dude, yesterday."

"And we're screwed, aren't we?"

"Imagine, an entire society of sex crazed rubber men and we're the godfathers. My balls ache at the responsibility."

"Not my balls... my ass... my ass aches at the thought."

"You know what they say, no pain, no gain." Both men laughed. THey turned their attention to the control panel. All flight systems on Cagliostro-1 were well within the green zone. Hundreds of confused and panicky messages flooded the mailbox.

They didn't spend too much time at the console; naked young men were splashing in the pond. Their green rubber bodies, big dicks and cute butts looked too good to resist.

Footnote #1: Two hundred Astronomical Units equal 13 billion miles.

Footnote #2: Altair is a star similar to Earth's sun and its Ascension and Declination is 19hrs 50min 47.00secs +08hrs 52min 05.96secs. It is 11.4 or 11.5 light years from earth.

Footnote #3: In the middle of porn, you stop to read a footnote on Thermodynamics? What are you a nerd? Oh wait, you are, aren't you?

Footnote #4: I'm not about to cancel the Newton's laws governing momentum and acceleration. It's one thing to fuck around with Quantum Physics that no one understands (don't say you do, you really don't) and it's an entirely other thing to fuck around with Newton.

Footnote #5: A definition for Sarcasm - Barbeque: Amid fighting with your relatives and in-laws (the bastards). . . You can celebrate the fourth by buying cheap hot dogs and ground beef - cooking the hot dogs (made from animal parts that we dare not mention - lips. dicks, fat, cereal, sweetmeats, hooves, ears, bollocks) over charcoal grills until the skin is black and then turning the ground beef into black, well done (and bacteria free) lumps of semi coal (laden with carcinogenic combustion products) - And then stuffing all of that down your gullet until you're ready to burst or puke. Top it all off with a good, chilled beer (scratch that, a weak, watery American beer that looks like piss, on ICE too). Finish the day with a couple aspirin to prevent any hangover tomorrow. Right before bed, wave a flag a few times just to be patriotic... And there you have it - an American Family Cookout!

15,750 words more or less