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September 10, 2005
"I have the anomaly on visual, sir. It's approximately thirty meters in diameter," the Lieutenant said. He sat at a console in the middle of the control and coordination center and controlled several hundred video screens lining the walls. He projected two images onto the two largest and most central screens.
"Looks like a squashed egg, what makes it so special?" Captain Spencer Sterling Strongfellow commented as he studied the rotating images of a large, non-descript ice-covered rock.
"Quantum dating places it at five billion years old. It seems we found the oldest thing in the solar system," the Lieutenant answered.
"What's your name, Lieutenant?" Captain Strongfellow asked. He thought he knew everyone under his command. This lieutenant must be new.
"Lieutenant S period Han, Sir, Han Shimengi. I usually work in the archeology laboratory doing translations of alien literature but this month I'm subbing for Lieutenant Reece in the control room while he's on vacation.
"Han Shimengi, that's an interesting name," Captain Strongfellow observed.
"My parents say that they can trace their ancestry back to the Han dynasty and a scientist from the town of Shitaki, in the Woo Wang Tan Prefecture, Sir. They say we're descendants of the first Emperor in the Han Dynasty. Personally, I think my great, great, great, grandparents farmed mushrooms and when he and his family immigrated to the United States they took this name." Some of the control room personnel smiled as they listened to Lieutenant Shimengi as he spun a tale about his ancestry. The rest of the control room personnel ignored him and so did the Captain.
"So this thing is five billion years old? That's utterly amazing if it's true. How can we be sure?" Captain Strongfellow asked. It didn't seem possible that any object larger than an atom could be that old. Nevertheless, here it was a big rock in the middle of the Kuiper Belt.
"Well, I can speculate that since Kuiper Belt objects are primitive remnants from the early accretion discs, this object didn't fall into a planet or the sun. Maybe Jupiter knocked it into its present orbit. Regardless, the Quantum Analysis can't be faked. Quantum mechanics doesn't lie and the object dates back five billion years old. It's composed of large chunks of pure gold, lead, aluminosilicates, sanadine, granite, more lead, gamma twisted iron, quartz, carbon, and water ice. You can see pockets of orthoclase, microcline, amazonite, and calcic and sodic plagioclases," Lieutenant Shimengi answered. The Captain eye's glazed over. He pretended he heard but he really didn't understand the geological explanation.
"I thought only ultra-intense bombardment by gamma rays could create gamma-twisted iron?" Captain Strongfellow asked. He seemed not to believe his eyes.
"Yes sir, gamma-twisted iron is considered evidence of a supernova blast. There's also evidence of high temperatures in the granite and other igneous rocks that crystallize at high temperatures. You are looking at material that survived a star going supernova before the formation of our solar system," Lieutenant Shimengi explained.
"…and we just happened to find it in the Kuiper Belt," Captain Strongfellow mused.
"I guess serendipity showered its fairy dust on us," Lieutenant Shimengi said under his breath. Half of the personnel in the control room heard him and giggled at his remark. Captain Strongfellow never paid really close attention to his subordinates even when he asked them questions.
"What did you just say?" Captain Strongfellow asked.
"I'm sorry, Sir, I said that the credit for discovering it goes to mining crew number six. Those guys have a nose for precious metals and gamma twisted iron. Someone told me once that mining crew number six succeeded in duplicating the nose of a bloodhound and that's why they can find stuff out there, in space. They sniff it out," Lieutenant Shimengi droned on and on. Captain Strongfellow didn't care who discovered it or how they discovered it.
"This is such great news, Lieutenant Han Shimengi; I could just eat you up, not in a sexual way, by the way, but in a good, non-sexual way. In addition, while we're on the subject, do we have the internal scans from the drones yet? I would like to see what's inside if the lead isn't too abundant," Captain Strongfellow said effectively stopping the Lieutenant's silliness. He looked askance at the Captain. The Captain was living up to his reputation for saying odd and unusually inappropriate things. The Captain pulled a chair over to the console and sat down just behind and to the side of the Lieutenant's console. He started to pick his teeth with a bent paperclip. All the while, he made sucking and smacking noises with his tongue and lips.
"We're getting those images from the scanners now, Sir. It will take a few minutes to process and analyze them," Lieutenant Shimengi's nerves began to splinter into tiny pieces. He sent a message to a friend to free up computer capacity so he could start to analyze the raw data from the floating sensors.
"This will take a few moments. I can call you when I'm finished," Lieutenant Shimengi suggested, eager to work alone. Captain Strongfellow declined the offer and continued to pick his teeth and watch over the Lieutenant's shoulder.
The images on the screen twisted, rotated, and transformed as the multiple scans produced three-dimensional images of density, thickness and composition. The Captain leaned over the shoulder of the Lieutenant and watched the images. With each refinement of the images, Captain Strongfellow leaned closer and closer to the Lieutenant.
"Do I see what I think I see?" Captain Strongfellow stroked his chin. He thought the images looked like humanoid. The worthless portions of the large lump of rock, irradiated metal and gold began to resolve themselves into familiar forms.
"I can't say, sir, your breath is etching my glasses." Two technicians dashed out of the control room so they could laugh at the remark. Lieutenant Shimengi sat bolt upright in his chair and caught the Captain's chin on his shoulder. A flurry of "excuse me" and "sorry" and other trite and very perfunctory apologies filled the room. The computer resolved the images from blurred vagueness into well-defined clarity. The anomalous lumps of gold metal took form. The statues were humanoid, very similar to their bodies, very muscular and very well endowed.
"Do I see what I think I see?" Captain Strongfellow repeated. By this time, the images of the gold portions in the anomaly were clear and distinct.
"The computer calculates there's just over two metric tons of gold out there. I don't know what you think you see, but what I see are two gold statues in the shape of men, naked men to be exact, naked men with big muscles and giant weenies. As they said in San Francisco, there's gold in them, thar dudes," Lieutenant Shimengi said trying to sound matter-of-fact. Again, half of the personnel in the control room hid their faces as they giggled. The Captain stared at the images. The lieutenant caused the images to rotate on both axes. The personnel in the Control Room got quiet and stared at the main screens, too. Lieutenant Shimengi separated the images and made each visible on its own screen. The computers continued to refine the images letting detail after detail emerge. There could be no doubt that the statues personified two male figures.
"How the fuck did those survive a supernova? It has to be a hoax. This is implausible. It can't be true," Captain Strongfellow mumbled over and over. Lieutenant Shimengi had the quantum dating results checked by two of his colleagues. When the results came back identical to the initial results, he had the mining machines drill into the rock and metal surround the gold and repeated the analysis. In each case, the results were identical. The entire object was five billion years old. Lieutenant Shimengi finally had a few tenths of a gram of gold removed from the arm of each statue for quantum analysis. The results were identical.
"We have to get the experts online for a consultation. No one is going to believe this is real unless the experts confirm it. How can they date before the creation of our solar system and yet look so much like us? Bring it alongside and have our best crew free those statues or whatever they are from the iron and rock. And don't damage them even if it means cleaning the junk off them with toothbrushes," Captain Strongfellow ordered.
The mining crews took fourteen day-night cycles to dig the gold artifacts out of the rocky and non-metallic material surrounding it. The crews carefully segregated the gamma-twisted iron, the granite slabs and stones, and the ice for use in the reclamation and smelting plants that traveled with the mining crews in the Kuiper Belt.
During that time, Captain Strongfellow and his scientists consulted with the specialists on Quantum dating techniques and Quantum signatures. The objects were indeed as old as they seemed to be according to the technique. However, the scientists couldn't decide if they really had found objects that old. Some of them suggested that the age determination resulted from a chimera. Others suggested that the results could be explained away by an additional subatomic particle or an extra dimension in space-time. Frustrated at the academic deadlock, The Captain had them prepare a package of samples and data files for earth. The flight technicians launched the capsule on its six-month journey towards earth.
Due to the height of the two statues, roughly six foot nine inches tall, they weighed in with a mass of slightly over one metric ton of gold each. The decks of the spaceship weren't strong enough to handle that much mass at earth gravity. As a result, the Captain ordered the mining crew to encase the statues in protective foam and then lash them to the outer hull of the spaceship. After that, the mining crews could salvage the gamma twisted iron and the other minerals as long as they maintained samples for future analysis. In the process, the mining crew discovered a set of gold discs in an engraved box at the feet of one of the statues. They gave these discs to Lieutenant Shimengi and his crew of translators. The archeologists and translators took another two weeks to discover the key to decoding the engravings and consequently the technical specifications for reading the information contained on the gold discs.
It took three months for Lieutenant Shimengi and his crew to understand the information on the gold discs. The images, writings, blueprints and technical diagrams presented a startling puzzle of cultural and linguistic conundrums that only hindered translation and understanding. Slowly, deliberately and due very much to the excruciating attention to detail that Lieutenant Shimengi demanded of this crew, the discs gave up their secrets. Translation of language, science and culture over five billion years old was a task comparable to the translation of the Maya hieroglyphs and the Egyptian Rosetta stone. As the discs gave up their secrets, the translators began to prepare monographs and white papers explaining the information contained within the discs. They took an additional month to work the information into a presentation for the entire mining crew and military personnel to see. Rarely did Captain Strongfellow ever permit work to slow enough to call a general meeting.
Noise, chaos, clamor and lots of overblown bragging echoed through the empty cargo bay where the two crews assembled. Not only did each of the mining crews compete with each other aggressively but they also had a huge rivalry with the military group that administered this quadrant of the Kuiper Belt. A dozen recording devices floated around the cargo bay ready to document the first seminar on a truly ancestral society. For several days before the seminar, rumors about the content of the discs ranging from faster-than-light drive to time travel buzzed across the radio circuits. The rumors only increased the number attending the seminar. Lieutenant Shimengi and his crew installed four three-dimension projectors, several large computer screens and a custom sound system. They really didn't need all that electronic capability, but they were making history and wanted to do it up right.
"As you all may know by now, a few months ago mining crew number six retrieved an anomalous object. Within that anomalous object, we found two gold statues dating back roughly five billion years and several data discs. We're going to tell you an interesting story about those items." Lieutenant Shimengi began the presentation. The crowd was respectful but restless. For a good ten minutes, he whizzed through the technical aspects of the finding and the scientific findings from the recording discs.
"You each have a data package presenting these results in detail. But that's not all that was on the discs," Lieutenant Shimengi pushed a button and the two statues rose from the floor. Their images filled the screens as computerized cameras zoomed and rotated in and around the statues. This was the first time that more than a small group of scientists got to see the statues in any detail. The group watched in profound silence.
"So here are the statues cleaned and polished. These seem to be exact replicants, if I may use that word, of the two men. They are personified here in essence and structure. The writings we found with the statues present a complete cultural study of life before their sun went supernova," he paused and let the crowd study the up-close images. Then he began again talking slowly and dramatically, building to a climax.
"These two statues are the only artifacts, the only relics… of a time before our own sun came into existence, before our planet was formed. These statues and the discs we found with them are the record keepers, the historical accounts, the concluding remnants of a long lost civilization that thrived for a thousand millennia and then lost it all by playing with the forces of nature and lost." He let the images of the box and memory discs appear on the smaller screens and then continued his talk.
"The main scientific discovery described on these discs is a device to communicate instantaneously over large distances by means of quantum entanglement. The scientists already have a prototype of the device and mass production will begin in a few short weeks. However, I don't want to bore you with science in this talk. There were several cultural items on the discs that bear directly on the statues. In fact, the statues are representations of two popular actors living at the time of the supernova. Prepare to meet the two men whose bodies inspired these statues," Lieutenant Shimengi turned to the largest of the screens and waved his hand.
The golden images of the statues faded to a still image of two actors dressed in large brimmed, round hats, masks, capes, black boots and ass-less chaps. They stood in profile facing each other with fencing foils crossed over their bare, well-oiled chests. They stood crotch-to-crotch to hide their endowments. Their muscles rippled to the music that accompanied the picture. Physically, they were somewhat smaller than their statuesque portrayal. However, their muscles stood out in finer definition. Each muscle fiber in their biceps, triceps, deltoids and pectorals strained as the two men posed and waited for their introduction. Lieutenant Shimengi froze the frames. The two men closely resembled men as every miner and soldier on the mining ship easily recognized. The differences were subtle but significant. These five billion year old men were cousins of Homo Sapiens.
"When we first watched this presentation, we couldn't understand the dialogue between the two men. We knew what they were doing but we couldn't understand the words. Thanks to the extensive library of literature and cultural material, we translated the words, such as they are, and had the computer dubbed the voices into our language. It's their voices that you'll hear but not their language so it might sound a bit strange at first, but you'll get the idea. And we've changed the names of countries, cities and towns to those familiar to you. My crew did a really outstanding job. No longer will their mothers say that they lost ten pounds of butt-ugly fat the day their sons were born. Now they can be proud. I won't interrupt again so that all of you can enjoy the entertainment."
No one in the cargo bay could possibly have imagined what was going to happen next. The computer resumed the projection and an intense, spicy rhythm filled the cargo bay. On the screens, the two men ground their hips against each other's groin with increasing lust, their chests heaving, their lips locked together and their longer than human tongues probing each other's faces. Several floating cameras popped in and out of the frame. The voice of an announcer with a cheesy basso profundo tone thundered through the cargo bay as brilliant red letters tinged with gold flames flashed across the screen.
"And now, Armstrong Eveready Buggerboy, president of Armstrong Eveready Buggerboy Productions presents… your favorite dynamic duo Captain Porco Spenciero of the Fellatio Patrol and his trusty sidekick, Pancho the Ass-Bandit, in the continuing adventures of Jungle Man and Weed Boy Meat and Beat-Off Rango, the Dictator of the Guatemalan Rain Forest and Spanky his Masturbating Monkey, as they help Guatemalan squatters settlers save the rain forests of Belize… in today's episode our lascivious hero's battle the dreaded Premature Ejaculator of Huehuetenango." The voice reverberated on the soundtrack and echoed through the cargo bay. The two figures on the screen broke apart and revealed their extra large and well-veined cocks throbbing at full mast. They threw the hats of and flung the caps up and over their shoulders as though they were swirling clouds of red and black silk. They stood back to back, hip to hip with their sword arms raise upward and their free hands stroking their manhood. For a moment, the miners and military men sat in stunned silence. Then one of the miners, a huge mountain of a man named Rolf De Bono stood up and whistled with two fingers in his mouth.
"Stroke those tube steaks you dandified, poncy hairdressers!" he yelled. The ice broke and the cargo bay was filled with laughter. Rolf was a big, hairy man with an enormous appetite for anything male. He didn't care who or what he fucked or even who knew it. It took several months for the miners and military men to convinced Rolf to stop simply grabbing a cute, young body and raping them in the corridors, against a wall, on a couch, in the showers, in airlocks.
"Squirt that hot man-juice over his pretty-white, creamy butt-cheeks you shaved faggot," Rolf yelled again. He got cheers as the miners started to chant "Stroke, stroke, stroke," each time Captain Paco Sphincter stroked his cock precum dribbled out of the foreskin as the red, mushroom shaped head kept poking free. His trusty sidekick jiggled his hand rapidly over his member with a feather-light touch. The figure on the screens made high-pitched, even squeaky noises and then announced in a quavering tenor voice: "Oh my Captain, I going to come, I'm going to come." He caught the first squirt in his hand. The camera moved in on the thick, white, goop as it drooled through his fingers. Hoots and jeers rang out from the audience.
Captain Strongfellow and a number of the senior officers shook their heads and stifled laughter. They all tried to remain unaffected but the situation had grown so ludicrous that no possibly display of dignity, order or discipline could mean anything. He tapped Lieutenant Shimengi on the shoulder.
"Is this what I think it is; a five billion year-old porn flick?" Up on the screen the sidekick just stuck the head of his cock inside the massive foreskin of Captain Paco Sphincter. Both men groaned in orgasmic pleasure as they pumped each other's cocks. The screen split into views of their other orifices and erogenous zones.
"Oh, surely you jest, Captain. Of course, it is and worse than that, it's homemade porn, every cheesy minute of it. Except, except for the last five minutes. Now those five minutes, they're worth the wait," Lieutenant Shimengi answered. Captain Strongfellow opened a microphone and made a quick announcement.
"Stand easy, men, anything goes rules." He shrugged and rolled his eyes. All of the military men in the room breathed a sigh of relief. At least now, they could respond to the already semi-naked miners surrounding them like Hungry Hilda's. Half of the occupants of the room were bare-ass naked in less than thirty seconds and the screen continued to show the human representations of the two golden statues having sex in every possible position. The music was cheesy. The pathetic backdrops looked like children's finger paintings even though the sex was real and hot. The camerawork was excellent. They had floating video-heads capable of focusing mere centimeters away from the action. Most of which consisted of the sidekick, Pancho the Ass Bandit getting the shit fucked out of him one of his orifices by any appendage on Captain Paco. So far, the so-called ass bandit had only been on the receiving end.
Suddenly, just when Captain Paco was about to get his buns split by his sidekick when a loud sports whistle blew. The duo stood up and began to tap dance to the most amazingly bizarre music. A few bars of introduction and they began to sing what can only be described as the butt-fuck song. It was a grand production with high kicks, wide splits and lots of tap moves. Captain Strongfellow's face twisted in utter disbelief.
"You have got to be kidding me, Shimengi. WHAT the FUCK is THAT up on the screen?" the Captain bellowed. He looked at Shimengi and then back to the live sex show going on in the cargo bay. All forms of sexual acts - sucking, fucking and a few things he never wanted to see again - were underway literally on the floor of the cargo bay. Also on the tables, the chairs and one of the hanging light fixtures.
"I think it's an old fashioned tap dance, Sir. All the videos on the gold discs were homemade sex tapes except this one. It apparently was the last video ever made. You'll see why in a few minutes," Lieutenant Shimengi answered. The action continued on the screen. The two men carried on with their tacky sexual antics and the audience in the cargo bay carried on with real sexual antics. Suddenly, an ominous klaxon screamed out drowning out the bad music. The two characters on the screen jumped off each other as the background disappeared and a control console appeared against greenish-gray walls. Several frightened faces appeared on a large video screen. Dozens of status lights flashed red in warning.
"You two don't have too much time. It's the sun, our sun. There's been a causality violation and the sun is going nova as we speak. You'll be hit with the first wave of gamma radiation in five minutes. Climb inside the prototype robot suits and initiate this quantum protocol. Then bend over and kiss your ass goodbye. It's over. It's all over. Everything will be gone within minutes. This is the only communications system that can beat the speed of light. Remember you now have less than five minutes." The room behind the faces grew bright. They could see the figures who warned Paco and Pancho screaming hysterically as the gamma radiation levels rose well beyond the deadly level. The image lasted for a full minute. They could see the flesh melting off of bodies, skin burning away and falling off bones, and finally skulls exploding before the images faded out into oblivion.
The entire cargo bay went silent. Stiff dicks went limp in the realization that the two crazy men on the screens really did have less than five minutes to live. To their credit, the two men playacting Captain Paco Sphincter and Pancho the Ass-Bandit responded quickly to the threat. They ripped their leather chaps off and ran naked to another laboratory. The floating cameras followed them like puppy dogs. Once there, they opened two large, metallic gold robots revealing hollow interiors large enough for a human operator. Captain Strongfellow recognized the robot suits as identical to the robots they recovered from the Kuiper Belt. He knew immediately how the video ended.
"Have you read the technical specifications on these robots? I only unpacked them," the man who played the Captain asked. He held a bunch of lead wires in his hand as he fit his foot into the boot that formed the robot's foot.
"It's the same physical connections as a normal robot suit. These are special because they can adjust to quantum fluctuations and maybe protect us from the gamma ray burst," Pancho started to attached electronic control leads to his body.
"But we never checked the control systems on these robots. How do we know they'll work?" Captain Paco asked. He closed the legs of the robot and fit his genitals into the proper slots. Gold tubes slid into his body.
"If we survive the blast wave we can check them out. But remember behind that gamma burst is a shockwave that will no doubt rip this asteroid apart," Pancho closed the robot arms around his own human arms and let the chest piece close against his body. He felt the motors and cables activate as he moved his arms to help his partner. Together they adjusted the eye, nose, and ear and mouth gear and closed the helmets. Artificial eyes, mechanized muscles, electronic ears, feed tubes, waste management systems and oxygen channels became active and supported their human bodies. At first, the robotic bodies jerked awkwardly into motion. One of the floating cameras smacked against Paco's now golden body. He swatted it away.
"Hurry, we've taken too long. There's can't be much time left. Get up on the quantum platform and stand still. Those cameras aren't worth worrying about," Pancho said in a new, mechanical-sounding artificial voice. Both robots stepped onto a platform. His robotic hands punched a series of commands into the computer console.
"I'm going to put the recording bag on the platform with us. Maybe it will survive along with us," Paco said. The platform beneath their boots glowed. A shimmering quantum field formed around the two robots. They waited.
Everyone in the cargo bay, miners and military, watched the images on the screens. For the men in the cargo bay, the events of five billion years ago were occurring today, right now. Nervous sweat dripped on the floor. Its tiny plop echoed across the cargo bay. Thirty seconds passed without movement from either the images or the men. On the screen, the console next to the gold robots lit up with red warnings. The images on the screen flickered as the gamma ray burst began. The quantum field changed in intensity and color.
"It's hot. It's burning hot in here," Pancho's robotic voice reverberated through the cargo bay.
"Jorge was a genius, he wouldn't have told us to do this if we were going to die," Paco answered. He felt it too - an itching, prickly sensation. It started on the tender parts of his body and spread. Both men groaned as the quantum field battled the increasing intensity of the gamma rays.
"The suit, the robot suit, it's sticking to my skin. It's like I'm on fire… We're going to burn to a crisp," Pancho yelled. The image on the screen flickered and faded momentarily.
"It's hot, too hot. My body's changing. It's devouring my skin," Paco screamed. Both men's voices screamed in absolute agony. Unable to move inside the metal suits as the gamma ray burst increased in strength, their bodies roasted in a strange mix of quantum energy and gamma rays. The intensity of the quantum field increased to fight the effects of the Gamma Rays changing their bodies, fusing them with the metallic gold pressed against their flesh. For nearly sixty seconds, the two men in the gold suits screamed and yelled on camera. After that, the sound cut out and the image faded to white. The screens in the cargo bay faded to black. A murmur passed through the cargo bay and grew into quiet discussions. All of these men worked and in some cases lived in spacesuits for prolonged periods and understood what it was to be trapped in space away from an airlock or rescue chamber while at the mercy of radiation, meteors, solar flares, cold temperatures and the vacuum of space itself. The thought of being trapped inside a suit of metal was bad enough but to be burnt alive by radiation tempered even Rolf De Bono's previously raucous behavior.
Lieutenant Shimengi stepped back up to the podium and tapped the microphone.
"I know how awful that looks. We had the same reaction when we originally viewed the disc. However, the recording doesn't show everything. What you don't know is that an electro-magnetic pulse (EMP) followed the gamma ray wave by mere moments. The EMP fried the recording system because it wasn't shielded. The quantum field generator had its own EMP shield but it was smashed as the shockwave from the nova blast destroyed the facility. However, the two gold robots containing the transformed bodies of the two men were quantum shifted just enough to prevent their destruction. Their transformation into solid gold, as painful as that was, succeeded in saving them from the effects of their sun going nova. We suspected this when we saw that the statues are solid through and through without hollows or voids. The one thing they didn't anticipate was that their new, metallic bodies required power and since their power supply wasn't protected, they slept for five billion years. How do we know this? Well, we gave the statues enough power to operate their artificial brains and their communications systems and woke them up. They aren't human anymore, nor are they androids or cyborgs. They are robots. We interfaced our computer with their computers and brought them to consciousness and sentience. Their once human minds are merely part of the robot's operating systems. We spent a week inculcating them with our culture and having them learn our various languages. They want to fulfill their dual destiny as historical records of their time and as the sexual heroes from their movies. TO that end, they kept the names Paco and Pancho. We're going to animate them in a few minutes."
Voices rippled through the cargo bay as the assembled men broke into varied expressions of astonishment and incredulity. Captain Strongfellow thought that Shimengi made a mistake by giving the men too much information to understand and accept all at once. It was one thing to accept that the two robot statues survived a nova five billion years ago and an entirely other thing to accept that their minds and libidos survived in the statues. A whine of electric motors from the far side of the cargo bay quieted the men. A remote controlled crawler hauled he two immobile statues toward the stage. Lieutenant Shimengi left the podium and went over to the statues. He plugged a power cable into each of the robots and connected a second line back to his hand-held computer. Then he began the power transfer to the statues.
Captain Strongfellow had hope that Lieutenant Shimengi could keep the meeting under control. Lieutenant Shimengi had a more recreational plan for the meeting. His attitude was what good is an orderly and well-mannered orgy. He stood next to the two statues, their presence imposing against his five foot eleven inch frame. The miners and military men ogled the beefy, hulking shapes of the statues. There was nothing small about the statues, massive muscles, thick thighs, beefy arms, broad backs, burly torsos, and thick, uncut cocks. Lieutenant Shimengi took a good look at the statues and smiled. As the platform reached the middle of the hall, he tapped his microphone.
"One more thing, these two haven't had a good fuck in five billion years and I'm told that after five billion years you get awfully horny. Therefore, Rolf, since you're one of the biggest, most virile and horniest ass-bandit we know on the station…" Lieutenant Shimengi said. He only had a half-dozen feet vertical between his body and Rolf. Rolf stood stark naked on a crate in the middle of a sea of shirtless men. He grabbed his equipment and shook it at the podium. He was almost a double for the robots size and build.
"You're god-damn right, you fucking, candy-assed, little twerp! I'm the meanest mother-fucking, son-of-a-bitch-bastard on this floating piece-of-shit," Rolf yelled back. The miners woofed and whistled. They stomped for some action. The testosterone level in the cargo bay was rising. This is going to be a superb orgy, Shimengi thought. He held a hand out to Rolf and let him scramble up onto the platform. Both men stood next to the two robots.
"…Well, we'd like you to be the first to greet our five billion year old, golden robots. Just remember, they weigh in at close to one ton each, so be gentle with them…," Lieutenant Shimengi winked and mugged. "…and they'll be gentle with you." The crowd of men roared in laughter. Rolf cursed and swore from his perch, enjoying the attention. Both statues shimmered with a quantum energy burst, radiating warmth from the robot next to him. It's surface stopped being hard and cold and changed to being flexible and warm. He moved off the platform leaving Rolf standing next to the two robots as their eyes blinked and became active. The cargo bay buzzed in anticipation as the robots began to move. At first, they merely looked around and then they felt their new bodies. The robots shuffled around and moved their arms as the got use to electric motors and cables instead of muscles and tendons. With speed and agility, Rolf kept his bare feet away from the large boots that replaced robot's feet. Aroused by the nearness of living metal men, his cock stood at attention against his stomach. Chuckles and laughter rose from the miners and military crowding around the platform.
"Don't you guy's talk?" Rolf said as he faced one of the robots. Its eyes opened wide and a flexible metal jaw moved into a smile.
"Yes, we do. I'm Captain Porco Spenciero of the Fellatio Patrol, what's yours big boy?" the robot said. Its voice was pleasant but electronic. It pulled Rolf against its washboard abdomen and let its cock slip between Rolf's legs. He kind of sat on the thick tool. It throbbed just like a real cock would but it was longer, thicker and deeply veined.
"I'm Rolf," he stuttered. Cautiously placing his hand against the robot's massive chest and tweaking its nipple. Paco robot returned the gesture and Rolf let his head fall back enjoying the stimulation. The other robot slipped behind him and pointed the head of its huge cock against his butt hole.
"And I'm Pancho the Ass-Bandit, his trusty sidekick, " the second robot said in a slightly different mechanical voice It pressed against his back effectively pinning him between the two golden bodies.
"Uh-oh," Rolf said. He knew what was going to happen next.
"I heard you're an ass-bandit, well, I'm the one the only ass bandit here, dude. What you going to do about that?" Pancho robot said. Rolf felt Pancho robot's cock pressing against his butt hole. He grabbed the Paco robot and kissed it on its gold lips. He let his legs spread out and gave the Pancho robot free reign to plunge its cock deep into his waiting and eager asshole. Rolf groaned. It didn't feel like solid metal. It felt like tough, flexible flesh. It was hot and huge inside his body.
"Let's get it on, big man," Rolf said. He squirmed and twisted making sure the metal cock sank deep into his body.
"And you can suck my cock in that hot mouth of yours because I'm Captain Porco Spenciero of the Fellatio Patrol," the other robot said as he pulled Rolf's head down to his cock. Rolf gobbled the head of it and started to suck. The cock was nearly as thick as a baseball bat and fully twelve inches long. Pancho pushed hard against Rolf's hips driving his cock deep into Rolf's gut and pushing Pancho's cock deep into Rolf's throat. Pancho grabbed Rolf and yanked his shoulders just as a second thrust by Paco made Rolf's throat open and stretch to let the cock pass though his vocal cords and rest deep inhis esophagus. Paco pulled Rolf's face against his stomach and rabbit fucked his throat while Pancho doggy-fucked his ass. Unable to breathe or stop them, Rolf's body flapped like a rag down suspended between the two men. The miners and military men were chanting fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck as the two robots used Rolf to bring their bodies to orgasm. They reached orgasms before Rolf passed out from lack of oxygen. Paco pulled out of his throat quickly and let him gasp for breath. Rolf's stomach did flip-flops over the load of golden cum poured down his throat. He couldn't talk because his jaw just stayed open. When Pancho pulled out and let him drop on the ground, his ass just trembled in pleasure.
"Who is your leader? We want your Daddy," Pancho said. Several naked military men grabbed Captain Strongfellow and lifted him over their heads. They ripped and stripped his clothes off as they carried to the robots and literally threw him on the platform naked. The robots were gentler with Captain Strongfellow than with Rolf, leaving him at least a little decorum due his rank. But still, they fucked him royally while his troops cheered them on. Spent and hoarse from swallowing both their cocks, he made his way to the exit of the cargo bay loaded robot sperm up his ass and down his throat. He gave Lieutenant Shimengi thumbs-up as he left.
"Next?" the Paco robot announced and several men jumped onto the platform and started to have sex with the robots. The two robots were insatiable. Nothing could tire them out. They really were machines that kept fucking and sucking. The miners and the military men fell asleep soon after they had sex. A few hardy men came back for two, three, or four fuckings before they finally fell asleep. The orgy of sex didn't finish for nearly thirty-six hours. The robots tracked down all of the inahibants of the station and fucked them whether they wanted it or not. Their sheer bulk and size gave them an advantage over everyone onboard. As they finished having sex with any man, he fell asleep. The two robots carried all of the sleeping men to the cargo bay.
When they completed their task. they sought out Lieutenant Shimengi. They found him alone, all by himself, in the shower room near his quarters. He didn't hear or see them approach until he they appeared in the doorway to the shower room.
"You surprised me. Have you finished?" Shimengi asked. Not only were they bigger and stronger than the Lieutenant was, their sheer bulk blocked him in the hot shower. They turned on all the hot water jets to steam spray and let the steam start to build. The shower room got hot and quiet. The noise of water filled the room.
"You're the last man left, Lieutenant. They're all back in the cargo bay, asleep while they transform," the Paco robot said in its odd, metallic voice. The robots just oozed with sexuality.
"Yeah, we saved the best man for last. What say we just bust your buns and double fuck you?" the Pancho robot said displaying a wide range of facial muscles all designed to show pleasure. Shimengi was amazed at the emotional capabilities of the facial muscles on the robot.
"No, no, no! We agreed that you wouldn't fuck me until after the other men transformed and I could program them as I pleased. Isn't that correct?" Shimengi asked.
"That's your order and we have to obey," the Paco robot said. It moved behind him and held his back against its washboard abdomen and huge chest. It put its arms around Shimengi's body and stroked his chest and stomach with its warm metal hands, tweaking his nipples, tickling his armpits, circling his pectorals. The robot's golden body grew as hot as the water. It felt sexy, and both tough as metal and soft as silk. The Lieutenant's cock stiffened and grew erect. He moaned in pleasure.
"Ah, you like that. It feels good, doesn't it…? You know you want us. EVery thoughts in the mind of a hot sexy man like you should be getting his rocks off. Why do you resist us, we're only here for your pleasure. Look at what we did for Rolf, your Captain, and all those miners and soldiers who wanted us. We took them just like you asked us too. They are all turning into robots, just like us. You want us too, don't you," the Pancho robot said. It knelt down right in front of Shimengi and let the water run over its head and face. It started to lick and suck on Shimengi's bobbing cock. Its mouth was so hot and sexy. Its warm metal hands caressed his legs. The touch of the robots, the hot water, the nights without sleep spent in translating, the reprogramming of these robots, and the plans for the orgy, all that had taken a toll on Shimengi. His body relaxed in the hot steam. He wanted to feel those big, golden cocks deep in his body. His hips moved reflexively, back and forth, driving his cock deep into Pancho's eager mouth of solid, living gold.
"Our deal is that I get to do the reprogramming. After that, you can turn me into a robot, my dream robot, the giant steel robot I've always wanted to be in my dreams," the Lieutenant closed his eyes and let the two metal men minister to his body. From time to time Paco licked the soft interior of Shimengi's ear, tickling it, making him squirm. His mind drifted on waves of pleasure.
"Steel, naw, Steel's so common. Steel rusts. Gold's better. … A big gold sex machine, muscular, well hung, metal sexbot, a satyr, hung like a horse, insatiable, the sex drive of a mink, that's what you deserve. That's what you want, isn't it, a life of sex? All you've got to do say yes and we'll do you right here in the shower… Won’t that feel good? You can be the first man to become metal in five billion years. After all the work you did, you deserve it," the Paco robot's voice was soft and sexy in Shimengi's ear. He trembled and shivered. He felt the orgasm building in his testicles as the other robot ran its tongue around the head of his cock and sucked it.
"If you do me, who'll do the programming?" Shimengi asked, pulling himself back from the brink. He felt the Paco robot's large cock pressing against his asshole. It felt hot and slick from the water. He clenched his ass muscles against any assault. Paco licked his ear again and kissed his neck while he tweaked both of Shimengi's nipples. The Lieutenant went wild with pleasure.
"Aw, we'll finish that job for you. It's so tedious and dreary and mind numbing and dull and boring. You could be transformed, golden, exploring the universe for sex, fucking more men. Tell me you want it. Tell me yes and let me do it to you," the Paco robot said softly. He held Shimengi's body tight and felt him stiffen. He was close to orgasm. The Pancho robot began to deep throat Shimengi's cock. Shimengi braced himself against the Paco robot for his orgasm. Paco leaned back and lifted Shimengi's feet off the ground. Shimengi bucked against the strong grip of the robot as the orgasm began.
"Oh, shit, I'm coming. I'm coming," Shimengi moaned, thrashing about unaware that in the throws of orgasm from Pancho's blowjob, his ass rode atop Paco's stiff golden cock.
"You like that, huh. You like getting your rocks off, huh?" Paco asked. Pancho sucked Shimengi's cock as it spurted a massive load of human sperm. The robot let his hot white sperm drool down his chin. He couldn't swallow it.
"Oh, fuck yes, yes… yes, yes, yes. I love it. Make me cum again!" Shimengi begged. That was all Paco needed to hear. The robot let the Lieutenant slide down effectively impaling him on twelve inches of its gold cock. Pancho robot stood up and pulled Shimengi's lips against its cum-covered lips. It kissed passionately and held him so he couldn't say anything. It humped his cock against Shimengi's stomach. Together the two robots held Shimengi tight until Paco came inside his body. When the robots finished, they turned him around and reversed their positions only this time, Paco face-fucked Shimengi until he blew a load of golden jism deep into his throat. When they finished, they supported Shimengi on wobbly legs.
"You fucking tricked me. I should have known you'd fucking trick me," Lieutenant Shimengi said. He enjoyed the feeling of the two massive robots holding him tight.
"Better to do it now than later. We're all the same now. In a day or two, you and all your companions will be robots just like us," Pancho said. Paco put a golden hand up to Shimengi's mouth to stop him from talking.
"And that's a good thing, isn't it Han Shimengi, a good thing? You want to live forever, don't you? You don't want to die, do you? And you you've always wanted to become a robot, didn't you," Paco asked. It took its hand away. Shimengi felt a fire burning in his body. Whatever was in the golden sperm had already started to work on his body. He shivered. Everything felt cold. Pancho increased the amount of steam flowing into the shower room. The temperature quickly rose in the small room.
"Yes, you're right. But I really wanted to reprogram the other men. Now you'll have to do that. Do it just the way I described in my instructions, of course. You have no choice but to follow your instructions," Shimengi felt his insides contract and pulsate.
"And we always follow your instructions, Don't we Pancho?" Paco said. It hugged the lieutenant tight against its big gold body. Two small doors opened on either side of its neck and slim probes snaked around and pressed against Shimengi's juggler veins. Both robots held Shimengi still as the probes punctured his neck and pumped millions of quantum nanomachines into his bloodstream. He screamed in pain as the machines started their work of transforming his body into living gold.
"Sorry to transform you so fast. It'll only hurt for a little while," Pancho said.
"We only put the head of it in," Paco said.
"And we did cum in your mouth, huh?" Pancho said. They held him for a about ten minutes while his body changed into gold. When the quantum nanomachines finished their work, they withdrew from Shimengi's new body back into Paco's body. Stunned and shocked by the rapidity of his transformation Shimengi leaned his new, metallic body against the two robots. Robot Shimengi looked down at his new gold body he saw the legs of a goat with cloven feet, hairy thighs and a monstrous, new gold cock and balls. He felt his forhead and discovered horns. The nanomachines gave him all the thick, strong and ripped muscles that he had ever envisioned in his wildest dreams.
"Of course, robots obey humans regardless? They obey in all things, don't they? we have to adjust your new mind. You're no longer human. You're a robot, and not only that, a satyr robot. FIrst of its kind in the universe," Paco chuckled. It winked at Shimengi as it attached a communications line into Shimengi's temple and began to reprogram his new, digital brain into that of a slave robot. The reprogramming increased Shimengi's sex drive, heightened his sexual responses, made him empathic, and finally subservient to any sexual desire. It also took away his dreams of commanding an army of robots and taking over Earth government. They left him standing still when they finished and turned off all of the showers. The room got cold but that didn't affect them anymore. Their metal bodies were good down to within a degree of absolute zero.
"Your first assignment, Shimengi, will be to assist the newly transformed men in the cargo bay. You'll help them adjust to their new lives and new bodies. You are not to do any reprogramming, just keep them occupied with sex. We'll do all the reprogramming," Pancho instructed. The three robots made their way back through the empty ship to the cargo bay. Once there, Shimengi robot, started to check all of the human bodies lying on the floor.
"I wonder why he thought he could get away with tricking us?" Paco said.
"I don't know. He knew exactly why we had created these suits and yet he wanted to thwart our ambitions to create a new and egalitarian society of metal robots. He thought he could replace that idea with his tricks. Why would we give up freedom for his petty tyranny and world domination. THat's what we wanted to leave."
"He knew we could control matter at the quantum level and that we had quantum nanomachines, yet he chose to try petty and silly trickery. It's a shame to lose a mind as good as his to a mere sexbot."
"We still have all that knowledge in the databanks and once we get the quantum computer set up, everyone will have access to it." "Pancho said.
"You know, maybe he just wasn't that bright after all? Maybe he was just a power hungry egomaniac with delusions of grandeur?" Paco said.
"In that case, he deserves to be a sexbot, a satyr. I suspect he's just a stupid nerd who can't see a good thing when it's presented to him," Pancho said.
"Sad, but true. You know, we still don't know who's responsible for the causality violation that destroyed our sun," Paco said.
"Somehow, I don't think they survived five billion years. If they had that foresight, we would never have been found," Pancho answered.
"I hadn't thought about it that way. You know, five billion years is almost infinity," Paco said thoughtfully. Pancho laughed at his statement.
"I thought we got over that philosophical horseshit. We're immortal now. Short of self-deactivation, we can't die. There's not much that can hurt us thanks to the quantum nanomachines," Paco said.
"And we have an entire cargo bay full of brothers to help us transform the universe," Pancho said.
"...And some of them are horny bastards, too," Paco said with a twinkle in his metal eye. He elbowed Pancho and raced away. Pancho followed. They giggled and laughed like two young boys at play.
The next forty or fifty thousand years would be fun as they mined the Kuiper belt, created quantum-drive spaceships, and started on their mission to populate the universe with huge, hulking, solid gold robots. It would be a slow and gentle conquest, but then, they had all the time in the universe and time, as we all know, is relative.
8650 words more or less
Ten Stories by Dave Fragments
*An Alien serial murderer and a furry detective with fleas.
*Murder on a world with altered humans.
*Disturbing apocalyptic visions *Monstrous dystopian societies.
*A man on trial for betraying the human race to robots.
*Devils, demons and ghosts.
*Survivors of a plague war.
*Cyborgs trying to be human.
*Six friends in a strange sinkhole.
*The truth about a world drowning in rain, without sun, without hope.
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