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Dave Fragments

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FIRST CONTACT: PHASE TWO

September 2006


This is what happens when I get a severe case of writer's block (due to celebrity spawning). I break the block by writing some trashy, light and funny junk.

It's a strange story of three men who find a few bugs on a jungle planet (cue dramatic drums). There are red flying bugs, black crawling bugs and purple over-sexed, hot-and-horny slugs. The Three men have to make friends and find the cute, lovable and humane side of the bugs, slugs and slime denizens that infest the stinking, rotting jungle without the benefit of underarm deodorants. As if that wasn't fun enough, the three men also get to be ambassadors (a promotion with pay increase, really, honest, I wouldn't lie about that...)

"This planet is nothing but a jungle, a sweaty, smelly jungle," Sergeant Major Siddhartha Tarun swatted at a swarm of orange and yellow bugs that flew around his head. Red splotches covered his helmet.

"Don't forget crawling with shit-eating bugs, ass-biting vermin and those indigenous fungus infections that turn your nuts red and cause your inflamed dick to drool green pus, Sir," Corporal Dodger said.

"Are you mocking me, soldier?" Sergeant Major Tarun turned and glared at Dodger.

"No Sir, it's just that there's a huge fucking bug with eighteen legs, nine sets of genitals and the ugliest pair of heads I've ever seen creeping up your boot, Sir. I think it loves you Sir. It's humping your leg, Sir," Dodger answered.

Rule number one of the space corps was don't get stung by alien critters and insects. An alien bug might lay eggs in your body that grow and eat you, give you a fatal disease, or worse, contaminate your DNA and turn you into an alien. Phase 1 volunteers accepted the risks of contamination but still, no one wanted to be become half alien.

Tarun swatted the bug away with a gloved hand. The bug left an iridescent orange stain on his mud-encrusted boot.

"Aw remonstrations and epithets, what piddling rotten luck, the blighter stained my new boots," Tarun grumbled.

"Piddling sir, why I hardly think piddling is appropriate. Boot stains are better than splattering a bug inside your horts and staining your ass crack, Sir," Private Ricky Oliverio blurted out. He stifled a laugh. Tarun ignored him. He stiffened his upper lip and stood his ground steadfast, soldierly, unshakeable.

Tarun was a regular in the new Cosmic British Expeditionary Force. The Space Authority resurrected the BEF and its legends when they wanted to recruit "volunteers" for space exploration. Leslie Twigbee read the adventures in high school and college and believed the advertising campaign. He built up his muscles, changed his name to Siddhartha Tarun and enlisted. Dedicated soldiers like Sergeant Major Siddhartha Tarun filled the officer corps while total assholes and fuckups filled the lower ranks. Towards the end of a long patrol like this patrol, it was the enlisted men's game to try to reduce Sergeant Major Tarun to a quivering mass of rage, fury, recriminations and on rare occasions, tears by being as insubordinate as possible. Corporal Rodger Auge, nicknamed Dodger and Private Ricardo Raul Domingo Gustavus Oliverio, nicknamed Ricky, were up to the challenge.

"I think Private Ricky has a point, Sir. There's no greater bad fucking luck than when you're stuck in a fucking pigsty like this to have some amaxingly strange insect smear it's guts and mutant DNA into your ass-crack and utlimately up your innards," Corporal Dodger said. He reached out and crushed a black, antlike bug with a hard exoskeleton causing its yellow, pus-like guts to spurt against a bright green leaf.

"This jungle smells," Tarun's ability for understatement opened the door for Dodger and Ricky.

"If I may disagree, Sir, my family raised pigs back on New Caledonia and the pigs never smelled as bad as this. Even when they were fucking each other to make little piggies, they never smelled like this planet. This planet is worse than a dung heap. Why it smells almost as bad as a dead, rotting elephant with fatal flatulence disease disorders. We saw that once on a family vacation, a dying elephant is hard to forget, especially their smell," Dodger answered. He flipped an ugly, purple-looking, slug-like insect that oozed purplish gore and crushed it gleefully.

"Dodger, you are trying my patience with your incessant, interminable, neverendling whining. I've never met a man with so many able and ready similes, metaphors, analogies and apt equivalences. Why anyone listening to you would believe that this this world is a garden spot of incomparable delights when compared to all of those situations you say you've experienced," Tarun answered chiding the younger soldier about his views.

"No Sir. I'm sorry Sir. I don't want to leave you with the impression that I like this world. I think this world is a prurient, pus-filled chancre on the asshole of the universe, Sir."

"Well if it is that obvious Dodger, why do you insist on describing situtations and places that are worse?" Tarun swatted at a cloud of tiny gold and scarlet bugs dive-bombing his head.

"Astoundingly obvious Sir, why it's like being hit in the head with a crowbar and then sitting there bleeding, wondering where the blood is coming from. It takes a real stupid person to not to know their head is bleeding from being bashed in by a crowbar," Ricky added his two cents to the conversation while stomping on a deep purple slug-like creature. It's buggy-eyes squirted a good fifteen feet away.

"So then we agree, this world is a mess?" Tarun mispoke the obvious. Dodger's eyebrows rose at the opportunities the statement gave them to continue.

"You can include me in on that one, too, Sir. by the way sir, in terms of awful and disgusting, I meant to tell you that in all the strange and alien worlds I've been on, this world, this jungle, well, it's more disgusting than my first wife's disease ridden private parts. What with her nearly constant yeast infections and the terminal syphilis, dripping, stinking festoons of..."

"Private Ricky SILENCE! For the record, I have NEVER had an interest in your ex-wife's female parts and WILL NEVER have an interest in your ex-wife's private parts," Sergeant Major Tarun bellowed at Ricky. Ricky didn't care, he used a stick to fling another purple slugat a tree. It splattered in all directions.

"You mean you're not interested in her vagina and boobs, Sir. Oh Im afread that she'll be mightily dissapointed about that sir. Whe wanted me to tell all of the men I worked with thtat they're perfectly welcome to them. In fact, last time in port, half the fleet sampled them, fondled them, slogged them and tasted her joy juices, they porked her petunia patch with effervescnet glee. There's no reason you should arbitrarily excuse yourself from her love channel. I can tell you that Private Dodger thanked me personally after he..." Ricky said. Tarun lost it and started to shriek and yell at Ricky. In return, he giggled and smirked.

"Private Oliverio, I don't care what you did with anyone's ex-wife," Tarun realized that they were making fun of his sensitivities.

"...and you, Corporal Dodger, stifle your giggling. What are you, a little schoolgirl that has no self control?" He stomped the purplish slugs under his boots making them pop like balloons.

"Stifle, sir? Pray tell, how does one stifle a giggle," Dodger said. He squashed another ant making its yellow guts smear out from under his boot.

"What do you mean by that remark, soldier?" Tarun turned beat red. A particularly persistent insect that looked like a golden red dragonfly darted around his head.

"Well, sir, two nights ago, I sucked Dodger's cock three times just the way he likes it and I swallowed, too Sir. He has a wonderful funky taste to his splooge. Isn't that what you Brit's call it?" Ricky answered. He could see Tarun turn red with anger. Before Tarun could say anything, Ricky added more fuel to the fire. Dodger squashed a line of black, ant-like bugs under his feet.

"And the night before we..." Before Ricky could finish, Tarun's temper blew a gasket, so to speak. He screamed and yelled curses and epithets at the two soldiers. Delighted, both men plotted the escalation of their discussion. They wanted to push Tarun into a greater frenzy. Dodger and Ricky turned in different directions and both pointed to the sky.

"Look, the golden winged loon," Dodger pointed skyward.

"And I spy the bandy-legged snark," Ricky added.

"aaaaa-eee-uuuuu--unh, un, mmmm..." Tarun shrieked like the Queen of England on her wedding night. Ricky and Dodger turned to see Tarun frozen stiff as a board and a dart with white feathers stuck in his neck. Before they could react, darts hit first Dodger and then Ricky.

They didn't have a chance to utter a decent expletive. The venom from the Jiggy-Jiggy tree coating the dart tips froze their bodies in mere tenths of a second. It left their minds active so they could see six or seven aliens coming towards them. The aliens resembled giant leeches with hairless, rubbery skin, two fingers and a thumb on large, dark purple-skinned hands, splayed feet. Their eyes perched on stalks and when they opened their mouths, they showed circles of small, fanglike teeth ideal for sucking blood.

Tarun pissed his pants. Not like it was voluntary, he just did.

"You three are certainly ugly creatures by our standards," the alien leader said. All three men understood his words. Pairs of strong alien hands lifted their bodies and removed their clothing leaving their pink and brown flesh exposed to the alien environment. The aliens tied them to stakes and then jabbed thme with something that released their bodies form the paralysis. The head alien walked up to each naked human and touched the longer of his two fingers to their forehead.

"I will speak as you Earthlings speak, the most obvious facts first and the important facts second, third or fourth if I can stand doing that for any length of time. You've been captured by aliens so that you can become out ambassadors.

"You can't talk, yet. I just couldn't stand your meaningless, trivial and unimportant chatter. . We reluctantly chose you three for obscure and unfathomable reasons. You must learn our customs and civilization so you can relate to both worlds. Unfortunate, you're bodies are delicate and fragile. It is necessary that we will give you the ability to live in our world and yours," the alien leader said.

Your ugly pink skin sloughs off in water. If you going to live in da jungle, you gotta adapt to life in the jungle, boys.

"You can say that again," one of the worker aliens added. " one of the worker aliens answered with the equivalent of a sneer on his slug-like face.

"Don't you dare take up where they left off. I won't slime for smart-ass. It just goes to show you how evolutionarily wise it is to have exoskeletons and armored skin. Well, we will give them better bodies much more suited to our world. Tomorrow they'll be our new ambassadors. Have the {blacks} and the {reds} decided who they want to represent them?"

"This one is belongs to the {blacks}." The head alien touched his stick to Dodger's chest leaving a thick black mark. Dodger struggled to no avail.

"...And this one belongs to the {reds}," the worker alien pointed to Tarun. The head alien touched his stick to Tarun's chest and left a brilliant red mark tinged with gold. Tarun dropped a load into the water. The brown mass floated there like an indictment of his fear. The aliens looked at each other and laughed. The alien leader moved on impassionately.

"...and this one is ours," said the alien worker indicating Ricky. The head alien touched the stick to Ricky's chest. Ricky almost felt his heart stop beating with fear as the stick left a purple mark on his chest.

"Do you want them to talk? I'm sure that they have many things to tell us about their world," the worker alien asked.

"Oh great maker of all things, NO. Not until they are converted and gain some knowledge. I listened to their talk before we captured them and it was mindless, senseless talk of fecal droppings and gruesome, ugly diseases. It was a most disagreeable and disruptive discussion. I believe that these two were, what's their phrase... jiggling, jacking, jerking off, yes, that's it... jacking off this one," the head alien said.

"As you wish commandito supremo, I shall summon the converters." The head alien's eyes whipped together and narrowed. The worker alien apologized for his impudence.

"Yes, I want to personally ogle the conversions with my own eyes," the head alien said. When your eyes are on stalks, ogling is easy. The worker alien stepped away and gave some instructions.

Three aliens appeared. They were humanoid with two arms and two legs but that's where the resemblance to humans ended. They looked like life-size ants with hard, coal-black exoskeletons, antennae protruding from their heads, compound eyes, mandibles for jaws and segmented bodies. Instead of hands, they had hard, horny claws, Dodger wanted to cringe as they felt his body with their antennae. The aliens spoke with each other in clicking, snapping noises and then to the alien leader in a voice that Dodger could understand.

"So this alien will be our new ambassador? Since he has a skeleton on the inside and all of his soft, squishy parts on the outside, we would like to convert his body completely and irreversibly. He took great enjoyment splattering our smaller brethren," the ant-like alien's voice clicked as his mandibles moved to talk. Dodger wanted to scream. It's going to bite my dick off, Dodger thought.

"I think he deserves to learn the error of his ways," the head alien answered. "Take your time to transform his body completely and irreversibly. He can spend the rest of his life here, on our planet. His name in their language is Dodger by the way," the alien leader answered. Ricky and Tarun could only watch.

Alien pincers grabbed Dodger's helpless body and it to one side of the clearing. A ring of ant mounds disgorged thousands of ant-like insects of varying size. Earlier that day, Dodger took such pleasure in killing that he wondered if they weren't somehow going to figure out how to step on hima dn make him splatter. He wanted to scream, indeed tried to scream as the black bugs crawled onto his unprotected body. Without warning, the ground beneath his feet boiled and churned revealing a pit filled with millions of insects, a world never seen, inhabited by tine black ants carrying small white larvae. The human-sized aliens lowered him into the whole and followed him underground. Darkness closed around Dodger as the tiney ants bite through his skin, removing it, leaving the muscle and bone exposed to the white larvae. He screamed as the white larvae burrowed into his body. His scream let the bugs crawl into his mouth, into his nose and deep into his body. They fastened on his eyes, in his ears and down into his lungs and chest. They crept inside his body. Down below, the bugs slid into his rectum and private parts. The larvae consumed the flesh on his hands and feet first and then begin to reform his bones. Dodger felt his body changing under the mass of ants. They dissolved his bones and reformed his skeleton on the outside of his new gelatinous body.

Dodger felt his hands turn to claws. The joints of his wrists and ankles hardened and hollowed out forming hard, external joints. He felt his neck stretched as spinal bones disappeared. A hard shell formed around his brain and his face. His jaws and teeth split into parts and protruded from his new, ovoid head. His lungs hugged the outside of his torso and abdomen. His internal organs shifted as his diaphragm grew hard and divided his torso into two parts. His human internal organs changed shape while new, insect-like organs formed inside his hardening shell. His stomach split into two parts and his intestines shrank. He felt segmented eyes forming on his head and feelers growing out of his temples. As the feelers grew, he found that he could smell and taste the ants around him. This colony was adopting him, making him one of their own, chemically marking him so that he could always tell if he belonged to them. Many voices entered his head. He felt a strong compulsion to sleep, a compulsion he couldn't resist.

Back on the surface, Tarun and Ricky awaited their fate. A trio of red and gold aliens with tall, thin bodies, wide shoulders, massive pectoral muscles and golden wings appeared from the sky trailed by a cloud of red and gold flying insects . Their crested heads and narrow mouths gave them a distinctive look. A multitude of Green-gold eyes stared at him from their ommatidia.

"This one appears to be their leader but that's a relative term among these creatures."

"We like his darker coloration. He is most suitable," the flying alien with golden markings buzzed, "His arms and legs are too heavy and that face is just too fragile for flight." The alien's body looked like it could barely support its own weight. A long, thin tongue slipped out of its mouth and licked Tarun. Its touch was warm, silky and if Tarun could have moved the reulst would have been panic-inspiring, fear-inducing hysterical screaming, yelling and loss of bodily functions. The giant flying bug laughed at Tarun's reaction.

"So we spoiled your new boots, did we? You'll never wear those boots again, creature from another world, this is what your feet will look like," the alien said. Tarun nearly jumped out of his skin as the alien lifted his leg to reveal a thin, stork-like leg and waved a size 15 chicken's foot in front of Tarun's face. He put his foot down and unfurled his wings for flight. The red and gold aliens grabbed Tarun's body and flew upwards into a cloud of thousands, maybe even millions of red, gold and orange bugs.

The insectoids held Tarun suspended as small, flying insects burrowed into his body. Bits of Tarun's human body and flakes of insects cascaded to the ground as the cloud transformed Tarun from human into flying insect. Wings began to sprout from his body twisting his back and reshaping his frame. Without thought, the wings began to beat and held him in the air. Tarun felt his arms and legs thinning, narrowing and growing hollow. His skin hardened into red, orange and yellow chitins. He felt his body slimming and his internal organs devolving into simpler forms. The bones of his head and neck seemed to explode into an exoskeleton. His mouth pulled out into a tubular shape and his tongue became long, thin and probing. Hundreds of images burst into his mind from new, multifaceted eyes. Ricky watched Tarun's transformation into what appeared to be a red dragonfly.

"You're next, Ricardo Raul Domingo Gustavus Oliverio." The alien leader touched Ricky's forehead.

"I know you're dying to say the obvious that Tarun is going to be a golden dragonfly when he returns," the bug-like alien said.

"...Dodger is going to become an ant and live underground, isn't he?" Ricky asked surprised to find his voice restored.

"Amazingly obvious, dear boy. We three species share this planet. I gather from reading your minds that humans evolved as one species and believe they are dominant all life on your planet," the alien leader said.

"Yes, that's what the way it is. We're the most intelligent species on the planet. But we evolved from hot blooded, omnivorous and young bearing animals, not from insects."

"A strange and unusual concept you have there, solitary development of intellect rather than all-encompassing maturity in all species," the alien leader reached out and caressed Ricky's cheek.

" You said you understood what we were talking about before you took us prisoner. Then you must know how traumatic these changes are. We might be better ambassadors if we retained out human forms," Ricky hoped he could reason with the alien and save himself. The alien's body was ill defined and lumpy. It reminded him of all the slugs he crushed along the path here. The alien smiled at him revealing rows and rows of teeth.

"Good try, Ricky, In fact an excellent argument but you see, each of our species needs an ambassador. Each ambassador will have unique insights into life on this planet. I can read all the fear in your mind. I read it in Tarun's and Dodger's... You know, you are braver than the either of them. That's why I wanted you," the alien chuckled. His assistants lifted Ricky and carried him over to a bog. Ricky stared into a watrery pit filled with slug-like slimy, bug-eyed aliens of various sizes. The sight both frightened and aroused him.

"I believe that you said something about a slug buttering your ass and other bugs making your cock and balls turn red and swell up?" the alien leader asked. They dangled his body over the pit.

"Yes, I did." Ricky answered. If at first you don't succeed, he thought.

"Try again?" the head alien laughed aloud. "What is butter? You mentioned it before and I would be interested in knowing what it is."

"Umm, butter is a food, the fatty portion of cow's milk chruned into a semi-solid. It's slippery and I was joking that they use it for sex. Pretty despicable of me, wasn't it," Ricky said. He prepared to launch into abject apology for his behavior. The alien leader grabbed Ricky's cheeks with slimy hands and coated his face. He shoved a finger into Ricky's mouth and let Ricky swallow some of the slime. It tasted funky as he gagged and choked. Ricky closed his eyes and imagined the worst that could happen to him. Then he felt the touch of the alien slugs on his feet and legs. Their sliminess made his cock thicken and drool.

"Well, young human, we're going to make those nightmares come true. We're going to lower your pink, soft body into a pit of my brethren. Think of it, a pit filled with purple, slimy slugs. And when you scream, they'll crawl down your throat and squirm up your ass just like it was butter," the alien leader laughed. His eyestalks jiggled. Ricky felt slugs climbing his legs and back. He tried to stop his cock from throbbing as the alien slimed his chest and stomach.

"We create our own slime. We taste it. We feel it. We move in it. Slime is our constant companion," the alien leader laughed. The alien opened its round mouth sucked Ricky's swelling manhood and balls deep into its gullet. Its tongue coiled around the head of his cock. Ricky felt his orgasm build as dozens of slugs covered his chest and moved toward his face. As he reached orgasm, the aliens let his body slide into the pit. Ricky's existence turned into nothing but slugs and slime. They invaded his body at every opening intent upon converting his quivering flesh.

Bones dissolved into flexible cartilege and Ricky's body shrank into a blob. He twisted and coiled his arms and legs around the larger aliens floating in the black water. His skin changed, turning waterproof and leathery. Slime glands and other structures formed inside his now lumpy and tubular body. His internal organs squirmed into new functions and forms. He flexed his muscles and coiled into a circle. Rings of teeth formed in his mouth. He felt his cock and balls pull inside his body and grow in size. After that, he lay in the shallow water and let the transformation proceed.

It might have been hours or merely minutes but an unknown time passed for Ricky. He woke on a bed of green moss feeling rested and comfortable. Giant fern fronds and the jungle growth shielded him from the hot sun. The humid air was fragrant with the smell of rotted plants and decaying matter. It was all a dream, he thought, only a dream. Ricky felt a purple slug about eight inches long and just as thick rested under his cheek. He lifted his head and the slug wiggled away. Ricky bent an eyestalk and looked around. Startled by his new vision, he panicked. The alien leader grabbed him and reassured him.

"My eyes," Ricky felt the changes in his face and body.

"It wasn't a dream, you changed me into a slug," Ricky said.

"...and you are perfect. Just as perfect as I knew you would be when I tasted your human emission," the alien answered.

"Oh great Maker, I'm no longer human," Ricky examined the changes in his body. He braced himself on an arm. There was enough stiffness to his body to support itself upright. His body was tubular and so were his arms and legs. He was a consistent purplish black color except for his chest and abdomen. Slime glands dotted his soft underbelly and chest. He only had two fingers and a thumb on each hand. His legs naturally and gracefully curved together and when they did, his splayed feet formed a tail. He discovered depressions for his arms along his sides that let him move like a slug over any surfaces. When he examined his crotch, it was smooth and slimy. There was no sign of his genitals.

"Where's my manhood? What's happened to my cock and balls?" he asked the alien.

"...inside your body. It will come out at the right times. We don't mate on the ground. It's undignified. We mate in the air. And once we mate, we have to wait to lay eggs."

"But I'm a man, I don't lay eggs," Ricky watched as the alien slid next to his body. The touch of another purplish, slug-like body aroused him. Ricky's body slimed the ground beneath him.

"Slug and snails are hermaphrodites. If you follow me up that large tree over there, I'll show you," the alien said, he twisted his body around Ricky's new shape.

"Hermaphroditic," Ricky said aloud as he felt his cock thicken wherever it was inside his body. His heart raced faster and hot slug-like blood began to engorge his manhood. Rubbing against the alien and wrapping his new body around the alien's slimy body seemed appropriate. He sunk his mouth against the alien and licked. The alien's sliminess aroused him. He wanted to devour this creature wrapped in his arms and legs. Ricky discovered that moving on the bed of slime felt perfectly normal. He had no desire to separate his arms or legs from the alien.

"I never imagined living like this let alone getting sexual pleasure from it," Ricky said.

"There's a human undertone to your taste and smell that makes you irresistible," the alien leader crawled up the tree trunk and out onto a branch. Ricky found that he had two types of slime one for crawling and one that would cement his body to the alien's body.

When they came to a sturdy branch, the alien twisted his arms and legs around Ricky. Ricky returned the embrace and cemented his body to the aliens. They squirmed against each other as a thick rope of slime from their feet gripped the branch. The alien rolled them off the branch and into the air. They hung upside down beneath a canopy of leaves. The two creatures, one recently human the other completely alien, entwined in each other's slime coated bodies dangled alone. Ricky felt his new cock emerging from his shoulder. He touched it and his body went crazy at the sensation. Rickey's body twisted and wrapped around the alien's body. His cock sought out the alien's member. Their cocks, nearly six feet in length had ridges around the head that flared into impossible large and sensitive structures. Ricky could feel his cock throbbing as he impregnated the alien and then, he felt the alien's sperm impregnating his body. His mind flared into white-hot pleasure as a new, alien orgasm coursed through both of their purplish bodies. Ricky lost track of time as waves and waves of sexual pleasure filled his body.

By the time the orgasm subsided, he could barely speak. Both of their cocks were still tightly twisted together.

"I never had an orgasm like that. It almost made it worth losing my human body," Ricky said. He tried to withdraw his cock but couldn't.

"I can't release you," the alien leader said.

"You can't? Why not?"

""If you push the orgasm too hard, your cock binds with your partner's cock. It's a final orgasm and it's pleasure beyond all imagination. It's a choice we all make. We save this marvelous orgasm for that one special partner. We know it when we taste each other's slime. You, Ricky, are my special occasion. You were the ultimate fuck of my life. My cock won't release anymore," the alien leader answered. Ricky's eyes popped around on their stalks.

"Oh, frigging great. Here I am, unlucky enough to become an alien and now you tell me that we're stuck together. I'm glad I was so good for you, but how do we get down? I mean even for my reputation and record, diplomacy while hanging from a tree branch with my dick wrapped around another slug's dick is too out there to even contemplate, much less try. I have my dignity," Ricky's body quivered from his laughter.

"Simple, we eat my cock off my body. I'll spend the rest of my life as a female rather than hermaphrodite," the alien leader said. Ricky hesitated. The alien coaxed him into the act. Together, they made short work of the leader's member. Ricky withdrew his cock and hugged the alien's body. He felt the slime give way and the two giant snail bodies separated. They slid back up the rope and crawled down the tree. They sat among a host of smaller slugs.

Still not quite accustomed to his snail-like body, Ricky sat on his backside with his knees up and his three fingered hands resting around them. The alien handed him some leaves and flowers and they ate. He was hungry, very hungry. He shoved the leaves into his mouth.

"As I recall my high school science classes about insects and their mating patterns, ants have only one queen and flying insects mate only once with a female. Is that true on this planet?" Ricky asked.

"As is the case on this planet, your comrades will have only one chance to mate. You got the better of the deal. We {purples} might be slimy and we {purples} might be hermaphroditic, but we {purples} can mate many times. IF they can stand the slime, you even be able to enjoy your human firends in many ways," the alien said. Ricky shoved a bright yellow flower into his new mouth. It had a lemony, sugary taste that reminded him of bitter apples.

"That's odd, I know what the word {purples} means but I can't translate it into my language. I suppose that's part of my education into your world's customs. Why did you pick me by the way? You could have chosen Tarun because he's more disciplined and outranked us. Alternatively, you could have chosen Dodger, he's considered more handsome than most human males... I guess that doesn't mean much to you, though. You chose me, why?" Ricky still had the habit of talking without taking a breath or waiting for a response. He shifted his position. His neck and shoulder felt funny. The alien laughed.

"You're descriptions of sex excited me. I wanted to touch the body that performed such acts. After all, I do live in slime, something that you will come to appreciate over the years."

"Those acts are what my four older brothers forced me to do many years ago," Ricky said. He rarely told the truth about his past and especially his teen years but, he considering that he was now a slug, it seemed unimportant. His body created a thick cushion of slime on the moss beneath him.

"We don't maintain families like you humans do. I sensed the concepts in your minds. They forced you to perform those acts. Why?"

"It's not a human custom. The funny part is, I got to the point where I wanted to suck their cocks and eat their spunk. When I got old enough, they started fucking my ass and making me lick them clean. I remember the first time they bought me a whore. They had me eat her pussy after they fucked her. The woman went wild with pleasure and I enjoyed the, uh, fluidity of it, let's say. After that, nothing was too sloppy or too disgusting. If it quivered slightly, I could have sex with it. The army, much to their dismay, had to break me of my bad habits," he caught the alien nodding in agreement.

"I'll bet you don't remember what you did the first day you were here," the alien's eye slits narrowed on their stalks as he stared into Ricky's eyes. Ricky broke out laughing.

"What's funny?" the alien asked.

"We're staring at each other with eyestalks. It's just so incongruous. I'm sorry, I still think like a human," Ricky made his eyes do goofy things on their stalks, twisting them around each other and crossing their fields of vision. The alien laughed with him. He liked Ricky. The human hybrid would be a great ambassador. The other two men would simply serve, this one would be an advocate.

"The first day you were here, you jerked off with a slug and you smeared its slime all over yourself, an audacious act of contamination. I remember it well. I followed you by the smell of that slug on your body," he might have said more but Ricky interrupted.

"What the hell is wrong with my shoulder, it aches," Ricky said. The same fissure that opened to unleash his cock opened and a clear egg began to move out of his body. Ricky caught it and set it on the ground.

"What the hell is that?" Ricky yelled.

"It's your eggs, just place them in the slime beneath you and don't crush them. In a few days they'll hatch," the alien said. Another egg appeared on his shoulder and dropped into his hands. He set if on the ground as a third, fourth and fifth slid out of his body.

"Fucking A, man, I'm giving birth to crystal balls? You mean to tell me that every time I have sex, I'll disgorge a bunch of slime balls?" Ricky continued to catch the balls as they popped out of his shoulder.

"Slime balls, naughty-naughty but, yes, every time you have sex. You should bear in mind that your hybrid body works faster than mine or any other {purple}. It's part of your human heritage. I will lay my eggs tomorrow," the alien said. Ricky's body stopped laying eggs, a dozen clear orbs lay his feet. He moved away so he wouldn't damage them. A young slug aide ran into their clearing.

"Honorable leader, forgive the interruption. The {reds} the {blacks} are ready with their ambassadors," the aide was humpy, sexy, and delicious looking for a {purple} slug. Ricky brushed him as he went past and left a slimy trail on the young aide. The aide sighed and smiled at Ricky.

"I'm yours for the taking, Ambassador," the aide started to follow Ricky but the alien leader stopped him and pointed to the other path. Dejected, the young aide wiggled off in the other direction.

"You better remember that anytime you slime a human or a {purple}, they'll want to have sex with you.
Your touch makes you irresistible to both species. Your human partners will absorb your sperm and change to become part-slug, part-human. You'll both lay hybridized eggs. Don't say I didn't warn you," the alien leader explained.

"And you're telling me that's bad?"

"No, just advising caution. Your human partners with no doubt, what's your phrase, freak out. You can console them however you want. What's a little DNA between lovers," the alien leader said.

"Do Tarun and Dodger have similar concerns?" Ricky asked.

"Oh hell no, you're unique on two planets."

"Good, order everyone never to explain that to Tarun or Dodger and come to think of it, any other human for the time being. RIght now, Let's go meet the two of them. I'm anxious to see how they hybridized into {reds} and {blacks}."


An hour later, Ricky, Tarun and Dodger stood at their 3-D Holographic communications rig.

"Sergeant Major Tarun reporting Sir, please get General McNastypenny." Tarun immediately regretted his mistake. One star General Nancy Northmoon, nicknamed McNastypenny, hated informality.

"Look, Tarun, if you call me McNastypenny one more time on an open microphone and you're going to the brig."

"I apologize, but as you see, I've been field promoted to Ambassador. Are you going to try to bust an ambassador down to private? The Foreign Service will have something to say about that." Tarun put his thin hands on his equally thin hips. McNastypenny wanted to vaporize him and this stupid planet, but her Orders from High Command demanded that she create as many alliances as possible with any alien species. Here whe was with three of her most insubordinate and rowdy crewmen turned into Phase One ambassadors on a planet rich in mineral resources and capable of suppoerting human life. She stared at three human-alien hybrids.

"Ah blathera-beast waste, I thought finally we found a world without indigenous sentient life. Just what the fuck are you and why three different sub-human creatures?" McNastypenny sneered.

"The reason should be obvious, three sentient species share this planet. I like to think of myself as a dragonfly. I represent the aliens that fly. Corporal Dodger is more like a big black ant with an exoskeleton and represents the aliens that live underground. Private Ricky is a purple, slimy slug with eyestalks," Tarun answered. General Nancy Northmoon turned away form the camera and silenced the hoots and catcalls from the assembled bridge crew behind her. Self-conscious, Ricky pulled his eyes close to his head to hide the stalks.

"Well, I see that phase one testing of compatibility with normal human life forms has failed or should I say succeeded beyond all our raging nightmares," McNastypenny said.

"We all knew the risks; most planets have some sort of intelligent life. Here, it just happened to be dragonflies, ants and slugs," Tarun answered.

That sounds so completely inane and fatuous. We took the risk, Tarun carries that stiff upper lip shit too far, thought Ricky. Unconsciously he gestured.

I agree, the head alien's thoughts appeared in Ricky's mind. Surprised, his bace brightened into a broad smile.

Where I grew up, we call what Tarun's doing rolling-over-and-playing-dead-for-The-Man and we'd be considered pussies for life, thought Ricky. He extended his eyes on heir stalks trying to find the head alien.

"I so love your language, it's colorful. So many words for the same thing, all those nuances of meaning... the head alien watched Ricky. He didn't understand that the secret to telepathic communicationi was not to gesture when it happened.

"The rumor aboard ship is that Tarun wanted the name Gunga Din but the courts wouldn't allow it. Apparently, there were already too many Gunga Din's, too many Heywood Jablowme's, and an abundance of Napoleon Bonaparte's according to the court's opinion. They liked Siddhartha Tarun for some reason. Ricky thought back. His eyes rotated and swirled to punctuate the joke. When he brought his attention back to the video conference, All eyes were on him. Even McNastypenny stood silent watching him from the holographic projector. She looks a little pale, he thought.

"Private, that's the most disgusting display of eye rolling I've ever seen. Keep those eyes still... and don't blink them separately anymore. Do you have something to say for yourself?" McNastypenny demanded. Ricky laughed in her face. He made his eyestalks cross over each other and look in two directions.

"Uh, all the better to see you with, my dear," Ricky said. He made his eyes stalks tie themselves into a knot. Groans and retching noises from the speaker delighted him. McNastypenny looked positively green. They could hear more laughing from the communications crew.

"That's enough!" she barked and the communications crew snapped to attention. "You little bastard," she yelled at the screen then composed herself.

"All right gentlemen, we'll proceed with Phase Two testing. We have to find out if you breed. I'll send a group of volunteers to spend some time alone with the three of you and we can see what happens," McNastypenny growled and violently shut off the holographic communicator.

"I now understand why you guys used to treat me like a fool. The simple truth is that I acted the fool, a buffoon, an idiot. That line--All the better to see you with--was perfect. Well done, Ricky, well done." Tarun's new mouthparts wiggled in two directions as he talked. His long tongue slithered in and out and his wings flapped slightly.

"Remember men, just don't let her bully you. The aliens made us their ambassadors. McNastypenny isn't our superior anymore. So let's take advantage of our ambassadorial privileges and return her officious and obnoxious behavour," Ricky explained. He quickly realized he'd said too much. Tarun and Dodger stared at him. "Aw fuck it, let's just have fun with Phase 2." He quickly added.

"I'm going to have fun scaring the shit out of whoever they send down for Phase Two," Dodger rubbed his claws together. His hard exoskeleton and ant-like face made him appear truly fearsome. When he talked, his four mandibles clicked while the larger of his two pair of antennae gesticulated.

"They have our holograms. McNastypenny won't ask for volunteers. She'll capriciously screw whoever crossed her last. THe woman is worse than any martinet I met in the force; vain, sexually motivated, and tempermental," Tarun said. The three hybridized men set about rebuilding their camp to suit their new bodies.


Several hours later, two men landed on the roof of the encampment building with a shitload of personal belongings and the latest armor and electronic equipment strapped to their bodies. They looked like huge, fearsome, killing machines. As the stepped out of the small transport, they strutted the walk of the elite, the powerful, the overindulged best of the best, and self-appointed nobility of the space corps.

"The cavalry has arrived. I'm Garth and this is Brad and we're here to do some cave diving and spelunking with the human who is now a big, black ant," he announced. Dodger stepped up with two ant-like aliens.

"Well you can't go dressed like that. Take off all that stuff and get naked. You know the rules -- bare feet and bare ass. Expose yourself to the environment and see what happens," Dodger clicked his mandibles together and made clacking noises. His booming, harsh voice intimidated Garth and Brad. They left all their equipment in a neat pile and finally stood with only their climbing equipment. Dodger led them away from the encampment to the underground lair of the {blacks}.

Another hour passed and a second two-man transport descended. It flew around the encampment in tight maneuvers, fancy turns and sudden, gut wrenching spirals. The two men on it wore form-fitting, spandex flying suits. Dodger recognized them as ace pilots. They introduced themselves by their nicknames of Flyboy and Wunderkind. He made them remove all of their clothing to reveal perfectly muscled bodies. A host of human-scale {reds} lifted them into the air and carried them to the tops of the trees. Ricky stood alone with his alien sponsor.

"McNastypenny must have something really special in store for {purples}."

"Why do you call General Nancy Northmoon, McNastypenny?" the head alien asked.

"She's the only woman onboard the ship and she's uses the crew as her personal sex slaves. Some of us refused to play along with her games and ended up on the eternal shit list. That's why I was down here in Phase One. It's my eighth Phase One mission. You were the first alien to catch me and convert me. I always made it off-world intact even when other men were transformed."

"She abuses her crew in what way?" The head alien hoped for a truly lurid sex story.

"Promotions and demotions aren't based on merit. She openly lusts after hot young men with good bodies. She's forced the crew into biggest dick and fastest masturbation contests. Shit like that," Dodger scanned the sky for the third transport.

"That's not good."

"No it isn't. She keeps the crew horny and subservient. Anyone who defies her spends their time doing every filthy and distasteful chore on the ship. Ask me about the waste carbon conversion units onboard a spaceship sometime," Dodger pointed to a small speck in the sky.

"There," the speck grew larger and half-circled the encampment. It was a freight platform with no shielding or cabin. Two men clung to it wearing only simple oxygen masks and nothing else.

"Have you any clue why those two men are naked?" the head alien asked. Both men clung to the platform barely able to stand. Their bodies were bluish and frost covered from the descent.

"No, but I recognize those two buffoons. They were McNastypenny's lovers before I left the ship. She publicly called them loin-fruit and banana-with-plums. We called them the Greek handmaidens. This is ..." Dodger watched as the platform nearly crashed into a tree. "...not good," Ricky and the slugs rushed to help the two men as the platform burst into flames and sank into the water.

"That bitch shorted us on the oxygen," Ethan Arrington gasped for breath to re-oxygenate his body. A slug grabbed him from behind to keep him from falling over into the mud.

"We're doomed, aren't we. We're never leaving the surface of this planet," Logan McPheeney asked. A young slug grabbed Logan and kept him upright.

"You're going to turn us into slugs, just like you, aren't you?" Ethan slurred. Both men shivered in the jungle heat. Water condensed on their bodies chilling them,

"Why in all creation are you two naked?" the head alien asked. He snapped his fingers and the slugs holding Ethan and Logan began to cover them in hot slime.

"I'm guessing that this isn't merely another macho, brave-man adventure, joy riding through the atmosphere to maintain your pretty-boy images," Ricky asked. Both Ethan and Logan glared angrily at him. Ethan's chest heaved. He tried to turn away but ended up face-to-face with the cute, young slug holding him up. Copious amounts of warm slime oozed over his body. His eyes and cheeks bulged as he retched his guts over the slug's shoulder.

"This is a punishment from the bitch queen," Logan answered. He slid down onto his knees and just like his partner puked onto a hollow tree stump. Bugs fled form the vile, greenish liquid and things resembling roaches ran into the stump. Logan jumped up and screamed only to puke again. A nice looking, young slug grabbed him and oozed warm slime all over his body.

"Yeah, we videotaped our last ménage-a-trois with the Captain and then broadcast it all over the ship. The crew loved it. We played shave the beaver, hide the salami and ass-bandits on horseback. She didn't seem to enjoy the broadcast," Ethan explained. Color began to return to his body. The human sized slug helped Ethan relieve himself and took the opportunity to fondle his cock and balls. Ethan's stomach contracted again causing him to double over and almost fall to the ground. He lay against the warm slug shivering uncontrollably.

"And I thought you humans had no sense of humor about sex," the alien leader commented.

"She wanted us to die. She had us shot up with something vile and green to make us vomit, threw us onto the platform with only our oxygen masks and decompressed the hold. We're lucky we made it to ground without throwing up in our masks," Logan retched again. The head alien reached into a pool of mud and drew out a fat, seven-inch-long slug.

"These will clear your systems of poisons and let you consume our food without harm," the head alien said.

"I ain't swallowing no slug," Ethan tried to stand but he couldn't grab onto anything because of the slime.

"Silly boy, you don't swallow it," the head alien reproached him. He slid the slug against Ethan's ass. A younger slug did the same for Logan. Both men screamed and yelled as the slugs disappeared into their bodies. In a few minutes, their normal pink color returned and their bodies begn to react in normal ways. A host of small slugs climbed onto their bodies to help them warm up. Ethan fussed at the slugs but Logan sank against the young slug holding him. When he saw the puppy love in the young slugs eyes and his rising member, he tried to move away and couldn't.

"Why am I stuck to this slug," Logan asked in his most stupid voice.

"Buck up, dudes, the slugs won't hurt you," Ricky laughed.

"We have no intention of hurting you. We only need one ambassador. You'll go back to your ship as intact humans," the alien leader lied. They would go back to the ship as humans but not as intact as they would appear. At his signal, slugs up in the trees hoisted the two men and the attached slugs up into the air. The slugs wrapped their bodies securely around the humans.

"What's this?"

"What's going on?"

"Slugs have airborne sex. You are going to learn about that first hand. Relax, enjoy it," Ricky sat back on a bed of leaves and watched as the slugs more or less raped Ethan and Logan. The slugs enjoyed themselves and when they finally finished with the two men, they lowered themselves near the ground. The slug's cock twisted so tight around the humans that they couldn't free themselves.

"There, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Ricky said. Both Ethan and Logan cursed him.

"How do we get these creatures off?" Ethan mumbled through the slug's long, translucent cock still stuffed deep into his mouth.

"Apophallation, they eat their own dicks. Consider it a protein diet," Ricky waited for Ethan and Logan to react. The slugs considered it an honor and after some coaxing, Ethan and Logan gave in and ate the slug's dicks. Ricky and the slugs kept Ethan and Logan busy night and day. When they complained that they needed to rest, Ricky goaded them by calling them the champion studs of the spaceship.

After a month on the planet, neither Ethan nor Logan showed any signs of alien diseases or alien DNA in their bodies. Garth and Brad returned from underground with only minor bruises from cave spelunking with Dodger and the ants. They too showed no sign of alien infestations. The third pair, Tarun's flying guests wanted to gain wings but the aliens completely refused. They spent their days flying over the planet with Tarun and his new companions.

Ricky, Tarun and Dodger insisted that the six men use the newly arrived ambassadorial shuttle and accompanied the six men to the spaceship. In addition, he insisted on an extravagant ceremony if only to deliver Ethan and Logan as heroes, a move that he realized would win the eternal emnity of McNastypenny.

"General Nancy Northmoon, I am happy to establish diplomatic relations with Terra and the Space Authority. As a sign of good faith, we created out three rotating ambassadors Sergeant Major Siddhartha Tarun, Corporal Rodger Auge and Private Ricardo Raul Domingo Gustavus Oliverio in the image of our three races. Additionally, as a further sign of good faith, we protected your emissaries from change and are returning them to you, intact and whole, and better than when they arrived on our planet." He oozed a puddle on the floor and slithered towards General Northmoon. She tried to retreat. The head alien slug reached out and grabbed her by the shoulders. He kissed her on both cheeks leaving a generous slime trail behind.

"Thank you, Terra is happy to have a new partner in space," Northmoon handed off the documents. Ricky made sure that the ceremony went on for another hour giving time for the slime to dry on her face and uniform. What a wonderful ceremony, Ricky thought. The celebration afterward featured freshly fermented fruit juices and extracts from the planet. The crew turned the party onto a drunken, testosterone-filled binge. Ricky was their hero. By the time the three ambassadors and aliens left the spaceship, crewmen started passing out drunk all over the space ship.

That night, Logan and Ethan's bodies disgorged thousands of baby slugs. The tiny slugs spread through the ship in mere moments. In less than an hour, the tiny slugs had control of every human onboard. By morning, the entire crew had transformed into human-slug hybrids, even McNastypenny. She would be the first, fully female hermaphroditic slug in outer space.

Still very human and very sober, Logan and Ethan returned to the surface and surrendered to Ricky and the head alien.

"It's done. You now have a spaceship cable of interstellar flight," Ethan and Logan concocted a story to hide their complicity in the takeover. Consoled by the fact that they were still human, they knew that they would never leave the planet again. The slugs even guaranteed that they'd never grow old or lose their looks. Something in the slime, they explained.

"Your names will be inscribed in the {purples} racial memory with reverence. You two will be whorshipped as gods," Ricky thanked them profusely. He clapped his hands and a host of young slugs grabbed Logan and Ethan hauling them high into the trees where thousands of slugs waited to mate with the humans. They would never lack for sex, ever again.

"Good, the {reds} and {blacks} can stay on the planet. We will to travel to the stars and create other worlds in our image," the head alien said.

"To go where no {purple} has gone before," Ricky toasted his new adventure.

9300 words more or less


My Anthology

FUTURES YET UNKNOWN
Ten Stories by Dave Fragments
*A hunting expedition on an alien world.
*An Alien serial murderer and a furry detective with fleas.
*Murder on a world with altered humans.
*Disturbing apocalyptic visions *Monstrous dystopian societies.
*A man on trial for betraying the human race to robots.
*Devils, demons and ghosts.
*Survivors of a plague war.
*Cyborgs trying to be human.
*Six friends in a strange sinkhole.
*The truth about a world drowning in rain, without sun, without hope.

Available at:
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At Amazon (Kindle) -- Click Here



DISCLAIMER
Fragments is devoted to adult-themed transformation stories. In most of these stories, men are turned into statues, animals, mythological creatures, and other changes both physical and mental. In almost every story, the transformation involves sex and the situations are adult in nature. If that disturbs you, or you are underage -- please don't read these stories.